Month: June 2013

Loving thyself

Loving myself comes from within
God is love and that’s just it.
Doing everything through him that strengthens me…
When these days are straining and mean,
What I need is me to complete the inner confidence I don’t let people see…
I should proudly show the gifts I’m blessed with to this world.
Knowing I am all that I need, closing my eyes hanging on a cord
But opening my lids seeing I’m still in my own world
God bless my beautiful soul
I am fearfully and wonderfully made…
You will never leave me nor forsake me for which u said.
So I stand on edge of this mountain overlooking your works on this earth…
Then I fall, fall so deep in love with myself.
My God please make me your own image of you in me
Because Love is you.
And therefore love is in me.
So I am worth the wait.
I will put up with “things” just for complementary sake…
But I am already loved.
I am someone that will be discovered.
Until then, my beautiful temple shall be respectfully and
correctly covered.

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The walking dead

Walking dead among this earth because this heart of mine is pumping emotions I can’t disguise…

Having to see you every day knowing what we could have been, I slowly feel my lungs pumping past its size.

The love we make is on constant repeat in my soul as I try to suppress your majestic being that came as a surprise.

How can I ever walk again?

The only road I can walk on is the same path that welcomes zombies.

The only release I can ever have recruits these tears and it initiates my sobbing.

I want to throw a boycott on this flag on the play, in which my heart needs intense lobbying…

I now walk with my head held low.

There’s no point to my life at this current moment.
I’m in your presence but you see me much as a torrent.
You look at me as if we can’t ever make our once was fairy tale current.

You made me like this.

You didn’t come for me, didn’t grab my hand as I walked out…
You don’t care no more, and I’m left to deal with these internal bouts.
Why couldn’t we just change the pace?
I thought of u more than empty metaphoric parking lots…
Because spaces between our sentences we shared didn’t need a ticket slot.

We shared the same similes.
Yet I believed that I was sold on a dream.
Now I walk among the dead.
Aimlessly walking as if im searching for someone to see if my soul is alive

Someone please come revive me…

The excruciation of my dreams

In my dreams ur still here with me…
Touching me…
Holding me…
Kissing my frontal lobe..
Healing this place of abode
My eyes are drowning in your sea.
In my dreams, I’m still different to you.
You still see me as a queen to you.

I’m still all the majestic colorful hues.
I’m still your beautiful muse.
In my dreams, I still see us dancing to our own song…
Where our inordinate rhythms could never do no wrong…
When days are short but our nights are long.

Longing ever so desperately to be back in each other arms.
In this same dream, we are one.
We have won.
We triumph through our longs
And managed to understand each others wrongs.

In my dreams, I was completely the person you needed
And you weren’t so damn busy
And I was way more patient.
And we could forever live in our fantasy.
We were each others soon to be’s.
In my dream, you were here presently with me…

Looking at me,
Understanding me,
Loving me,
Holding me.

There’s nothing I want more than this dream to recur daily.
To show me exactly what’s missing in my reality.
I wake and drown in my drool of poverty.
Yearning you even more like I need an increase in salary.
Yet no monetary fund could ever shape your opposition to fallacy.

In my dreams there’s no desire to wake.
Your the reason why I smile and now it’s fake.
I dream of us seeing our beautiful mirrored selfs somewhere in the Michigan lake…
And at that very moment we would finally understand the term for heaven’s sake.

In my dreams, No hand would ever hold mine the way yours do…
Your all I want to be with, I want to proudly say I’m yours.
In my dreams, I’m not hiding behind a camouflage of my broken hearted past…
in my dreams we are so freely each other that we don’t fly, we soar.
Our love treats diseases and finds all its cures.

Laughing and running and chasing each others dreams…
Not knowing what time essentially means…
Thinking about you making my panties cream…
How you make love to me, not able to hold in any of my screams
My God why must I have to wake up from this dream?

Knowing how beautiful it was or what it seemed.
Then the alarm clock goes off and I am waken from what it could of actually been…
low and behold now I know what the word excruciation realistically means.

Empty

Today I felt the most provoking thing that was loneliness.
And now I wake from these deserted naps with a lack of brightness.
You keep me up at night yet you aren’t here to cradle me in ur arms.
So these naps are attempted shots into the void that become restless.
Im not mentally here and my heart is numb.
How could you so eloquently show me this wasn’t what we forecast?
How could you be done that fast?
Haven’t I shown u that beauty is within me and u can freely let go of your past?
How could you say such beautiful words and your actions be so denounced?
How could you hold me so close to your heart then bounce?
Why did I tell you things that weighs pounds on my soul but you equate it as an ounce?
Why did I even give you that ounce?
I’m screaming but there’s no sound.
You denied hearing me.
You surely do have your ways you wanted me to accept yet I’m almost ridiculed ever so gracefully by how my place looks, or how my appearance looks, or how my diction is sub par.
You looked me in my eyes to embrace my flaws and you left me knowing I wasn’t going far.
I guess it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
Your perception wasnt my reality however…
All I wanted was to be adrift in your sea of love…
Just wanted you to rely on me…
I want you to be my friend.
Not on your terms but our terms.
Selflessness brings forth prosperity…
Woe to this ironic tragedy that is taken place.
This multiplication of our love has left us subtracting the sum.
Your a nay sayer saying everything but they all add up to nothing.
And the way my heart feels at this present time is troubling.
I pray for my brother’s keeper because I’m on the verge of no return.
And only you can bring me by showing my heart something.
Don’t bring me empty, understand my empathy.
don’t be the illusion of a beautiful scenery…

An outlet.

U don’t want me no more.
I feel so sore
I don’t comphrend anymore
My heart is so torn
This can’t be real
I thought you could be the one that heal
But your eyes can’t hear
I guess I have had my last meal
However, all I thirst are my tears
How did you take my zeal
I can’t get it right
Mr wrong always seems so uptight
Why can’t I follow the light
Why can’t I finally get it right
Pain is always the end result
Please God help me revolt
Why must the wrong be sought
Why can’t I just be brought?
Why cant I love myself more?
i thought i did, don’t I?
Why when im in love, I just wanna get by?
Don’t we all deserve it all?
Why must settling became the norm?
Why must life be so scorn?
Why can’t we all just get along?
Please God show me an outlet.

1000 memories

Take me back to that dream…
Where we found the most invigorating thing that butterflies learned how to swim in our vitalized aura.
We gazed upon God’s beauty in the wilderness as if this very moment we know what the human spirit actually means.

Then we looked at each other and saw the same in one other.

Closing my eyes and finally kissing the lips I yearned for at night.
Tossing and turning only wishing for you to completely savage me with your strong embrace.

I internally smile when u smile at me.
You are bringing out the very best in me.
You opened up and showed me that this is actually for real.
are you giving me permission to finally be free?
I want to just fly forever with you…

Closing my eyes finally knowing I’m kissing those same lips that speak so intelligently, so kindly.

I hope you rub off on me.
Let your residue of your heart smear on me.

Let me be the Queen you deserve.
You were choosing me when all this time I was choosing you.
What a beautiful fate we live.
I never want this romance to end.

Ill write love poems every night while Ill rock your fucking world.
It’s our world baby.
Throw me against our avatar tree while I completely take in your scent. My eyes are rolling in the back of my head.
I’m not in this reality, this is where Angels preside.

Let my heart spill on you like we yearn to be in the same rivers that comprised Niagara falls.

I can’t stop writing about you. Your all my brain relapses to.
You make beautiful merely a word that has only five vowels.
Your beyond a vocabulary’s measure.

You bring joy by the way you simply walk in a room.
And I’m such the catch, you must of been fishing for quite some time.
You hooked me just by that kiss… That unexplainable, bottomless pit, stomach levitating, door to heaven gates kiss.

I only hope I never wake up…