A penny for my thoughts.

A penny for my thoughts….
Is the monetary fund you gave me…
Meanwhile I’m rationally thinking…
Or so I thought.
I’m sitting here, confusing myself.
Not understanding why I couldn’t just be myself…
And just be with you.
Listening to ppl who isn’t feeling how I feel.
I didn’t even give you a chance to make me feel.
I guess it was too real.
I guess these scars on my heart still aren’t healed.
Maybe I just needed you near.
Your situation doesn’t make me feel secure.
I just needed to think about this more…
But these penny thoughts had me thinking maybe I’m being played so I wasn’t quite sure….
You told me she stays with you
And saw a flashback of the inevitable future.
Something like the Alpha and Omega would predict our nurture.
I forecast your inveiglement.
But I’m not a weatherman and now I’m left with these sculptures.
Picturesque paintings you so openly gave me that is life before our very eyes only for a weekend.
You breathed me.
I fucking can’t believe this.
You showed me forever with no wristband.
like a child drawing heart shapes in the sand.
And I so casually withdrew my hand.
So where does that leave me?
fucked up sitting here trying to count these pennies for my thoughts…
I just lost out on something that truly made me happy for once in my life.
Or so I thought.
I didn’t allow you to even get a chance to show me what true intimacy was…
My thoughts needed an indenture for you to sign.
The fuck was I thinking?
But you gave me a penny for my thoughts…
And it just hit me….
That all these thoughts don’t mean shit when your thinking is naught.
Pennies for these nothing thoughts and I just missed out on a love that would have maybe brought clarity to my heart.

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