Sooner or later.

Sooner or later this will be obsolete.
Something I can look back on and say to myself how I have grown from this,
How I managed to stay on my feet.
Sooner or later I won’t be such the spy and go through archives that my eyes aren’t for and being an undisclosed creep.
Because my blood is beginning to seep.

Onto paper that is.
I can’t wait for the day I can laugh at my naivety and see how I have grown from this.
Looking back with my briefcase in hand carrying my success.
Sooner or later I can move on from the way I was dismissed.
How you left me for dead, dug my grave for me and kiss the casket and mumbled I will be sorrowfully missed.

Sooner or later I can get over this.
Like it was some sort of unrealistic goal I believed in
I thought I knew you were meant for me.
There goes my naive state again.
How dare I believe this to be true when I knew what I knew.
In essence I was set up for failure.
Your lies made me believe in hope.
And that word belief is more than what meets our lips.

Sooner or later, my consequences for my actions will be over.

Sooner or later I won’t dream of how life would be for us anymore.
How I can wake up and your finally not the first thought of my day.

Sooner or later I’ll stop kicking myself of the mistakes I made with us,
Or even wishing I didn’t even try it with us.
where were my standards?
I blame this open heart of mine.
Its always being taken advantage of.

Sooner or later, I’ll forgive myself.
Forgiving my past, the hurts associated with it, and the blame I use to make the poor decisions I make.

Sooner or later, I’ll take heed to what you taught me,
And I’ll blossom into that potential you said I didn’t even see in myself.

Sooner or later I’ll love myself.
Wholeheartedly and Un-byknowingly.

Sooner or later I’ll be careful of letting someone enter my spirit without asking God for discernment first.

Until then, I shall commence in this pain.
Killing myself,
Reminiscing on all of our beautiful memories we made.
Believing in this extinction,
As I completely know the truth.

Sooner or later, I hope to stop crying over you.


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