Month: June 2014

Feeling alive

Feeling alive again…

Like kneeling to God again.

Confessing my sin and asking to find no fault in my meticulous attempts to surpass a fool.

I’m feeling alive again.

Like fully knowing the sunset will arise again.

Like how we skip rocks in the lake…
Seeing what’s anew each puddle we had left behind.

Or running so seamlessly through the corn fields on a sunny day that kisses our lips…

I’m feeling alive again.

God forgive me for being lost

I’m addicted to the pain,
I’m convinced.
Wondering why I am attracted to the ones who doesn’t want to explore my mind but my body is optional for them.

I pick these men of valor who takes pride in what they have as their queen on their arm.
Yet I’m starting to feel like the peasant that they play with, throw crumbs at, and laugh to the sanctions of how naive she must is.

But in reality (in mine that is) I just love love.
Love the connection that intertwine two souls that become one,
Spiritual bonds as our temples are being explored.
I’m not sure if that’s the dictionary version of saying she’s gullible but I do know I’m feeling pretty restless.

When is it my turn to feel the undeniable touch of a person who desires forever with me?
More importantly, why must my internal state feel so lost without it?
Stevie wonder plays the soundtrack of my soul and yet I live a reality of being constantly turned down by the one I want to give my heart to.
Feeling overjoyed until I’m back where I started.
The plot is continuously congruent.
Where must I change at?
Where do I start?

God forgive me for being so lost.

Those hands….

Those hands I felt through my finger tips tells me a few things…

It tells me your diligent hands will rule like the wisdom proverbs guides us

You seem like you take accord in all that you do…

It tells me you fix what’s broken,

The way you describe what you love to do tells me that your soul is felt everyday on this earth.

Seems like those same hands gently brings life to those who might be lost.

Maybe the way you wrap them around me tells me I could perhaps feel safe in them.

The way you gently bowed your head before you touched your food,

Excusing the world for roughly 10 seconds to give honor and respect to the same spirit we could perhaps be meant to search a greater depth for…

Maybe together.

Maybe so…

Until the universe show it’s true colors, I can only imagine those hands…

Your unique view of this world penetrates my own idiosyncrasies.

I want to turn you on with my own words but they seem to be lost somewhere.

Nervousness took heed because I knew what was right in front of me.

Those ubiquitous hands knowing worldly things and me wanting to so desperately hold them.

Loving a Gemini

I just made love to a Gemini.
The same side where he showed the most affection and assist me to where my inhabitants were.
And I came the same time the rising sun was placed into the sky.
I just made love to the same face of a Gemini that found where my sweet spot was,
The same side that took time to find what made my soul tick,
He looked me in my eyes and told me it was ok to feel free.

After it was all said and done, he gently laid on my chest.
As if it felt like I had a leg up on all the rest,
His one hundredth and one.
But then he put his clothes on and asked me if he should lock the door behind him.
That’s when I knew this was another side I should of coached myself to.
He’ll be looking in his rear view mirror to see if there is any residue of the love we have just ensued,
And go home and hug his wife under the covers like he was never mine.
In the meantime he has me and her crying and dying simultaneously for his time.
Not knowing we both want the same thing, we carry on this lie.
Lying to ourselves that the next time it will be different,
Knowing fully well that this is what we have accepted.
Only difference is she is his.
I am no ones.
I come alone even if he is in me, so there’s no innate intimacy.
Because I just made love to a Gemini.
The same guy that has two sides,
The same guy that continually makes my heart ache for him,
So I will sit in this room and hope he hears my cries.