you left me for dead knowing fully well what you wanted and only gave me scraps of bread.
Why must I keep falling for your type?
Not realizing the pain that would be sufficed was on your part and not mine. Yet I take it all in as if I dived in you without a life jacket straight to the deep end so I can see what this could become.
However I tend to lose focus and started to get tired of the doggy paddle for you to even say you might like me back. I ended up asking for your extended time and some more of those butterfly engulfed kisses.
I asked for your full potential do you can step into it but you got so afraid of it.
Perhaps I should of deluged you in more compliments for you to realize I wanted to see the inside you. Instead of this person you chose to show me.
I wanted to so desperately uncover the beautiful you.
I wanted to be the one who wouldn’t never prejudge you,
The one who would unconditionally love you,
The one who would find favor in your flaws so I could find an excuse to hug you.
Yet you declined this.
So I must reassess my feelings during this durational recess.
It’s said to be no black blood left on this earth we build,
One must know the resilience placed in our favor.
White people: we are the chosen one…
maybe that’s the reason why you hate us so much.
You constantly tore us down for a lifetime of forevers,
You crippled us so horrendously that we could never make it out of these stippling situations you blame us for.
We must use proper English to even get a bit of your attention in a first round interview.
Yet our credibility doesn’t mean shit to you past our beautiful brown skin.
I hate these people but I love the ones who are knowingly aware,
Who aren’t ignorant like you adventitious KKK’s believing in Columbus rhetoric but I digress because in your words that’s reverse racism.
I choose my words and I believe they are hurtful because of the criminal intentions you already did to fuck my own future,
How you kilt my innocent brother’s life in the streets and left him for dead,
And walked away a hero.
You hate us,
And guess what?
I hate y’all back.
Why can’t I perpetuate the same innate hate you have against us?
My notion is this: we are the originators of this world.
Our history has been recycled for us to sort through in order for us to understand our own self.
Our upbringing consisted of tea cup revolutions and a bunch of treaty shit I can’t recall,
And all I remember where I came from was slavery.
Not realizing Yoruba culture officiated Catholicism.
Not realizing we originated so many artistic platforms for y’all to steal from us.
Our Robert Smalls and Elijah McCoys not recognized. Yet Pagan holidays are present to keep our attention at bay. Media originates back to Merrill lynch which he made the notion to dissect our beautiful brains with your poison.
I want to go back to Africa.
Not realizing how I felt was just my soul restoring my lineage.
You’ll never understand how we made it through. And still will.
I gave you a hug and u in return gave me a dove.
Something that symbolized for me to fly away but I didn’t know how.
Stuck on your roves
Not knowing where we were going
But somewhere in between your smile
and back rubs I thought I saw you as the one.
But, however and nevertheless are commenced to be inserted here because once again I’m living in my dreams.
The one who jack kick my hurtles in your 100 meters. You won the race with your zombie features.
Wondering if true love equates to going against the forces that flatter our egos and animalistic cell tissue.
I miss you.
A touch of air is all that’s really there
maybe you don’t understand your magnitude to be aware,
But the people u leave behind, their hearts are barely there,
I can’t say to stop the beautiful path you are on…
Because if I was brave enough to follow,
I want to leave footprints behind every walk you endured in a country unfamiliar so you’ll always know someone always has your back.
But let me not get too emotional.
We are taught to perform brain surgery on our feelings when we are at our worst.
I just want a positive outcome from our experience. But life gave you magma that even though it has the power to recreate, it’s still rock hard like the apathy you have adopted.
Your volatility meeting my stable calm.
My earthy senses gently feeling your air.