What I saw is what I became.

The moon slightly new. The dawn coming soon, I see myself in the mirror and what I see is you.

I remember your gestures, right down to how you maneuver.Initially thought obscurity, you gently gave me a tour to your heart and how it’s shattered.

I went to your brain and saw how it’s assessed. I went to your spleen and saw the rage. you guided me to your darkness and I realized I didn’t pack a lunch. 

What I saw is what I became.Energy transference complete.You won I am defeated.With the greatest of psychedelic chemistry, you gave me your misery.I gladly took it with hopes I could see you shine like a mystic,Centerfold catalogs is where I saw you belong. 

my place in your life was to show you love is infinite. 

We both deserved each other.

Or perhaps it was preparation to induce more pain in you so you can heal properly.

Be one again.
Even the most ambitious must be aware some things are simply out of reach.I couldn’t get to you in time.

“Blame it on my youth.”

You slip out of my hands.No one caught me when I was falling off the ledge. You weren’t my savior yet you never intended to hurt me.

This end result is a hard laboring crime.
Up all night seeing our bodies intertwine in the dark as I mercifully watch my bed we made love in. “Where our souls danced.” The same bed you felt guilty in. The same bedding I drowned my tears in afraid that overdose was welcoming my death.

the death of a heaven sent union shattered by words and actions and pride and selfishness.

It didn’t have to be like this.But it is.

I ponder over numbers.I see soliloquies of the memories. I hear tale telling footsteps. I scream at the idiosyncrasies.

Yet and still you’ll be the one I would never understand. Until you uncover your belief in me. I can only dream you are marinating on the same thoughts.

Just as I still feel the deepest part of me tugging to be with you soon. 

 Another part is praying to never be in the likes of someone to use me as their crutch for self serving reasons.

Reasons and seasons.

Time is the illusion.

Let’s mind our mindfulness. 

Advertisements

To let go.

The subconscious facial expressions that I make that are you I must be aware of to dead away

To be on block 

a dead bird on the side of the road 

To be never looked back on

Yet it’s remembered by the lingers at the mere thought of it 

I must try to let go of the love that is embedded in my heart for you 

The soul snatching making me swoon 

Eye catching enchanted whispers you consume

Somehow I must say goodbye to you.

Even though I lay down next to you.

your memory lingers here 

you already had our story played out 

And I was placed in your unwanted list of unrealistic expectations. 

So I die.

Dying to tell you I need you

But pride killed that vibe 

I scrunched upon the pieces of myself in tulum 

Where I denied infliction 

I’m too strong to admit such atrocity

Yet aware of the affliction I placed on you.

Revenge wasn’t so sweet as I suspected.

I was left with the wherewithal of misery.

Hurt begets hurt.

Unresolved vulnerability lingers across the four walls I stare at.

The loss of a lover.
I don’t remember our last kiss.

I remember the feeling.

I hope I can only see through this.

To let go is where I will find my strength. 

These field of memories…

Laying here in these field of memories,Deprived of sleep,

Because I use to watch u sleep so peacefully,

Here,

And where the soils disbursed a wild fire of lovemaking to heal any wounds we tried our best to not succumb to by looking each other in the eyes while bursting into flames to have our union ensue 

And when break up to making up occurred when one of us feel like the other was producing less we made sure we patched it up by loving some more,

Are how the painful truth came out and the love burning our eyes and aching bones reside and no matter how it came out we held each other by its side,

And what was true love? We answered it here while Marvin Gaye in the background as we laid our bodies down for the first time as complete lovers and not strangers. Feeling the grips of the universe gravitate in our spirits sending electric charges through us. The time was now. 

And why our last encounter was the worst one. Where words that needed not to be said and we went in a dead end. Where regrets happen and love was lost. Trust broken and no more making up was involved. 

This bed. 

The very one I lay in and inhale these memories day and night,

It brings painful loving thoughts of you.

Of us.

A lot of very first times were made here.

I miss you. 

But we are on our own paths now…

Life is roller coaster,

Our love was one also 

Our journey ended when we got off. 

So I inhale these field of memories everyday.

I drown in sorrow,

And wash off in faith. 

I put on my makeup to cover the bloodshed eyes

I smile as if I never was broken 

And I maneuver in this world with the lessons that was taught to me

To love wholeheartedly 

To script my life around what I truly admire

I thank you universe for showing me the way,

Please forgive me on the mistakes we have made,

Heal us again 

And if we are very lucky,

We can reconcile in this field of memories that only you, the powerful creator, can only send. 

The power of L O V E.

Love  

This word love can be cemented in alpha like scenic areas

Pacing down yellow brick roads

recreated to see the colorful mixologist touches on exotic beverages

Or created to be a havoc in someone’s world

This word without action can show the most unfilling desires taking place,

Not realizing your more than a word you are in fact life.

And life is love 

Love being four letters and four arguably representing the salt of the earth. Saltines for the hungry and ebsom salt for our aches and pains. Perhaps the salty looks we give when love recedes its questioning hairlines.

Or the salt we feel when we gave it our all and it still wasn’t enough.

Maybe the sea salt in the ocean to clear out some impurities in our temple.

To wash away the old and welcoming the new.

Perhaps remembering what was and embracing what is now.

Salt baths mixed with some fresh milk for purification.

Love is righteous.

The Deacon board somely swear the beauty of life in you is in all of us.

Kneed crackled kneecaps falling at the alter once remembering love lives in you when love have consistently failed you.

What to do?

Is your God listening or is your own God in you waiting to be woken up soon?

Pick a bed.

One that can be your gravely idled emotions soaking in a puddle of tears for someone you can’t save or a bed lovingly to have peace in knowing you loved yourself well enough to know tomorrow is a faith driven source you believe in.

In the meantime you grind for the love of the life you have.

Kicking down doors where ever you go because your self influence give others peace in you knowing you are power to be reckon with.

Love is power

telekinesis that feels those energetic sources deep down in your diaphragm reminding you he still lives there.

He gave you the power.

He?

The love of your life that’s no longer here.

But granted he gave you something infinite you can take with you.

You might cry now but later you’ll see the blessing.

May God and Goddesses around the world know this beautiful spectrum of the greatest force known to man.

The power of love.

Root of the Bodhi Tree: The Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path

Lama Surya Das

Despite the unbelievable variety of scriptures, practices, languages, cultures and approaches, we find at the center of all the customs of Buddhism the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. As the Dalai Lama said, “There is no Buddhism without the Four Noble Truths. If you want to know Buddhism, you must know the Four Noble Truths.” The Four Noble Truths are the facts of life from a Buddhist perspective.

Four Noble Truth Four Noble Truth

1. Life is Dukkha (Suffering). Suffering happens all through life because people always want more or little bit better than what they already have.

2. All suffering is caused by craving/desire and attachment. Because we don’t have what we want we think and feel trouble.

3. Suffering can be reduced. All delicate desires must be extinguished by the human being who wishes freedom from suffering and it can be extinguished by walking the Path. If we…

View original post 379 more words

The mastermind behind her lost eyes.

The pain is palpable Her solar plexus tied in knots,every time she eats, she rots.

Waiting for the moment you call her again, and want to start where they had stop.

The anxiety of losing you causes friction to her feet, not able to move forward because it feels as if you took her ability to seek.

You didn’t come with a disclaimer,

She assumes she ignored the signs, 

she rationalized your emotional abuse as mishaps in your life and she still gave you her light to shine.

Seven months celibate until she gave you her center.She thought someone like you was worthy so she happily followed your obsequious mind. 

she also gave you her precious time.

She lost a lot of it waiting to hear from you so she can be commenced in hearing your sweet lullabies.

She always believed him. He was who he said he was. You made her feel like this was a forever type thing.

Why doubt it when you felt it too? 

She can’t force you to see it but let’s get to the clues.

She ride for hers and it’s perceived as crazy.You went missing every now and then on her as if she never existed.

Two different ways for preservation but here’s the catch:you ran from love and she dived in it.

While intently listening to your dream on January 31st,  words told to her that said she wasn’t never going to be ‘real’ enough,  
You knew something realer that watched over you, Your first. 

Words that shattered her back bone. Words that made her hide from her ghosts. Realizing she could never make him into a home. Because he longed for it in other ways.

He killed her vibe.

And from that day on, little did he know she internally felt like she died. The mastermind behind her lost eyes.
The man of her dreams,

Her knight and shining armor sliced her in half.  

Nothing right or wrong could be good enough or wrong enough. 

straws that broke the camels back,right in the middle of them building. 

But she swallowed your sword because she knew idioms were fixed expressions. 

She looked into a magnifying glass to see if she did in fact hurt the one who administered the flu shot of misery that killed her slowly.
You found peace in forgetting about her as she found peace in faith.

Two different people but they are both broken.Why you put her through this?Why did she put herself through this? 

She wonders if this was love for him or an escape route. 

When you first saw her what did you think? Lets give her all of my burdens so she can be responsible in sorting them out. 

And even through such an impossible task, 

She tried to be Superman for him and do as such but she really was just a Jane Gray. 

Not knowing her own mutant power was activated in telekinesis. Or rather psychokinesis…

Mind over matter, as she knew you were damaged, she takes blame in dying twice while under your condolences. 

Or rather your control. 

She felt a competition going on she didn’t realize she even entered.
It broke her knowing she was never gonna be what you wanted her to be. 

You didn’t accept her. This is how you made her feel.

She settled in being a consolation prize.
Knowing she’ll be 2nd place at all times.

Why couldn’t this stay platonic…where friendships can never be broken.

She remembers countless nights of not sleeping at all because she didn’t want to miss your call,

She filled your life up with sending her love through poetry, gifts, thoughtful gestures to show you how much she cared.

You made her evolve and transcended her into womanhood.

What gift more beautiful to be exalted for? Through it all, she was blessed to have such an experience.

You didn’t feel the same with her so you left her to dry out in the sun.
And she becomes undone.

She then became a Lucy that burns in the hearts of man. She started to hate the evilness of liars. Transparent enough?

Well lets get descriptive.

Through those advantageous attempts in wanting you to see her, the real her that was exclusively for you,

she lost an ear.

So she couldn’t hear.

She couldn’t hear what you were saying and it simply said: you’ll never be what my wife is to me. You’ll never be what I already had.

She lies in the corner crying at night seeing visuals of your words hanging on her heart.

She thought less of herself.

Even when you called her a queen.

Actions speaking louder than words.

But God made her no quitter so she scattered your words and tried to make a puzzle.

While doing this she lost her sebaceous gland.

Her shine went missing.

Losing herself in you.

She didn’t know what she could do.

She kept giving you more of what she knew was true: me.

Then what she thought was her new found holy trinity came before me and said upon to me set yourself free because you are not what I need.

A womb that was stabbed. 

The black woman disrespected again. 

Words that she knew were coming because you once showed your conditionality when you once told her to rest in peace to the day you cared. 

 She had faith and it failed her. 

Now as a losing battle she tried many attempts at reaching out only to have made her lose all sense of self in the process.

Tuned into this thing called insanity or maybe a plea agreement. Whichever you can believe, it left her feeling utterly embarrassed,

and confused,

and disgusting,

and completely lost.

A beautiful Love story gone bad because they didn’t sustain to be friends first. Rushing into something that desperately needed time to go through Photosynthesis to have it flourish.
Why must we want what we want now and right away? 
Why couldn’t they see this kind of thing is not for everybody? 

Didn’t they see how rare their bond was ?

Why didn’t you see the free spirited beauty in her that you’ve now finally found and flew away with?

Why couldn’t she see you as a blueprint?Something to navigate and get accustomed to. 

Be still saith the lord and great things will prosper from this.Why were they so anxious? 

Restart buttons are for the shrewd and beloved. The ones we think aren’t tainted with but they must of knew that the truth never sets no one free.

Why can’t ppl say sorry for their mistakes instead of throwing their cards in? 
Why leave when it was so great within.

Reaching out as if she is saying to you “et tu brute?” while you’ve thrown a dagger into her back you’ve already damaged each time she reached out and was given a non response.

Friends. How many of us have them? 
All of life’s opportunities and she is given these monochromic items. Nothing excites her no more.
You were her cirque du soleil. 

Just like how you cut her in half, why can’t you use that energy and put her back together again?

Only you can do this. 

The billy jeans you said that were not your lover became 5am booty calls you thought she wasn’t aware of.

As she used her higher self to pull herself through the betrayal of unconditional love,
She bathed in a thousand words over the androgynous voice she carries in her spirit that were painted white to purify her again. 

Attempting to find a balance again. 

She meditated so heavily, she saw the hues of the universe intermixing with the sound of light on her balcony at the crack of dawn.

She prayed so furiously, she saw God bypass her as if the wind spoke to her and whispered ‘i am also real’

She thought so hard of you every morning, she rearranged the reality so her ideals were still in tact.

But through all of this, She wakes up empty.Just like you perhaps feel.You gave her your hole in your heart. 

While she was getting use to her soul dancing that was in perfect alignment with yours that others found rather esoteric, little did they know we had found love in a hopeless place. 
Now she just want to shine again. You took a piece of her and that’s fine. Have that piece teach you about reconciliation and hope.About how the most beautiful heart found yours. 

Hopefully that piece you stole from her morphed into a liaise so they then can have the greatest understanding for one another. 

Until then. Resentment fills the airways. She wants to hate you so bad so she use euphemisms to disguise how much she regret meeting you. 

Then she laugh at yourself fully aware you were the best tragedy that could of ever happen to her. She wouldn’t take back a thing but the pieces you both were missing: patience.

Time could of move them forward but everything was considered abuse to him. 

What bad luck huh.