afraid

I’m afraid.

I’m afraid you took my ability to continue on with life,
Memories consume displaced thoughts so I’m not able to imagine anything.
When looking up at the moon I think of the lunar stages you put me through.
I hop on my bike and I realize you made me free on this journey we have taken.
My stomach drop when I think I saw your shadow somewhere.
Meanwhile you painfully let me go, untied your shoe strings, and removed yourself anywhere I could possibly see you.
Words are words but words are only describing what words we use. Your words full of alchemy. My words full of ambiguity. Opposites attracted. I thought you felt my sense of loneliness simultaneously when I felt your need for security. I wish you never left me. My consequences for my inaction to be naked with you is that I’ll forever feel demeaned by the choice I’ve made. I just need a hug from you,
Something to sustain the fact that you did love me.

Love is a motherfucker.

I want to dive in it,
But I forgot how to swim.
My faith was in our embrace,
Yet the reality is that she is with him.
Once was still lingers in my heart,
And his kisses birth my vim.

I’m confident in it…
But he lies.
And while I wait
I can’t stop the cries.
I don’t know what to do,
I look to him for answers.
There are no replies.
The risk is so rewarding
But the volatile state it’s in..
Is too scary for me to try.

So I lay here afraid.
I know I adore him.
But it seems like I’m feeling played.
I wanna fly,
Guess I have to take that first step…
Seeing things through,
I’m too fearful of what it will do.
Love is a motherfucker.