#beautiful

The cause and effect.

Oh how did I forget to put the honey on the womb that was the atonement to your aliveness? Your spliced solace 

Combined like terms

And you get I.

With you it was a mistake gone right.

A cold case found 

A rebound

Rebooting the hard drive we thought it was the sound.

It was.

Our truths not told so it was heard in third parties,

Lowly is the man who has nobody.

Friends forever broken down,

passion ignited was the beginning of the end to a union that was suppose to last forever.

Our forever was momentarily infinite.

Parasites to the mental capacity to see beyond our way of thinking left us like this.

 Creative mind ceased,

Yet the memory keeps the juices flowing.

Finding love in a hopeless place put me in a position to be truly loved.

To know what it felt like.

Life ain’t so easy as they say 

And situations ain’t so stationary as envoys 

I was employed

To invite you to a branch of lighthearted comfort and familiarity.

You served as an editor of what Self worth meant to me,

I see the God in me,

All thanks to you.

Appreciation is an understatement 

I appreciate this current present.

To love and be loved so perfectly aligned 

I never could of dream of such sweetness.

The cause and effect. 

Going through the dark to see the light.

You made it all possible.

I thank you for your wisdom.

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my dad’s brush

This brush reminds me of some things about you,

How you’ll brush your wisdom towards the front and made sure all of our shoe laces were intrinsically tied, how you would brush the flem off of us when we cried.

This brush reminds me of all the times you came and showed up to save our emotional lives, as we were eternally dying and knowing naturally we weren’t born yet you held us so strong as a father would do anyway. 

Never reminding us we were different because you accepted the challenge to love us more than. Replacing the fatherless individuals who decided to give up on us. 

The pain would temporarily subside because you allowed us to live free and creatively get by.

This brush reminds me of the times you’ll allowed me to experiment on your hair line, as if you believe I was made up of magic and I could do anything if I put my mind to it.

Your subtlety brought joy in our lives while you enjoyed kids being innocent and let our imaginations run wild.

You never once interrupted that.

How we would imitate our favorite wrestlers moves and you’ll sit back and laugh at our noticeably novice groves.

You allowed us to be free. Free from the pain and heartache that occurred upstairs. You freed us from feeling dismayed when rejected by our own. You freed us dad there’s nothing more to say.

So every time I brush my own hair with the brush you used,

I feel like I’m still apart of you.I still feel the same spirits we both caught in church together, the same feeling of you allowing me to sleep on your shoulder when life became boring for me.

The same feeling when you cried and told me how much you love me as a daughter.

The same feeling when you showed up at my basketball game and the same feeling of infinity.

Infinite gestures to indicate through everything I always had you to rely on.

What a hard day to go through where this is the day you celebrate your father and I have no one to turn to.

I love you so much dad and this brush, the only piece of physical memory I have, reminds me of you.

  

One can only assume

I see stars and beautifully wrapped gift sets
And we all wish we can find that surest safe bet.
One can only assume,
That perhaps his actions showed u that he’s not ready just yet.

Emotionally scarred hearts who is our modern day empaths
The ones that aren’t afraid to swim pass sea level to see what God has
Yet one can only assume
So we tend to hide our star struck tears by our forced laughs.

Expectations are role calls we don’t necessarily like to follow
We fallibly live up to them because the words we had, we swallowed.
One can only assume,
That in truth we still try to chase them bc we know a deeper surface and n ur curiosity hangs off my halo.

See Inspiration is more inspiring when God placed two naked souls together to be explored.
How incredibly elicit can our minds roam if we decide to aesthetically run after each other’s lures.
Only one can assume,
That our passion could possibly be a benchmark of lovemaking where it saves who simply endure.

Live in this assumption where our adoration is stemmed
Being free is priceless if the price is not for the benefit of them
It’s only for us,
And one can only assume that we morph exponentially, as if you are me and I am him.

Because my friend, it’s rare.

As the stars hit the sky,
I find myself memorizing every sound of each bypassing car corner the street I reside on,
I also go out to look around to see any part of you in the miscellaneous crowds.
Why did you leave me alone like this?
What did I do so wrong to deserve this?
Are you feeling the same hurt I disguised myself in?
Where tears merely are an essence of the beautiful scent your surmounted in?
And as I touch my nose to see if my senses are indeed working, I can’t help but to wonder,
Why didn’t we foster that perfect rose?
To be picked out so badly out of the millions,
And escape in our world to freely run with each other.
As souls touched, just like ours clung to,
I wonder how us humans can ignore such a feeling.
That is what make us fools.
And as I grow older and wiser,
I now know to warmly welcome the likes of beautiful people like you.
Because my friend, it’s rare.

Mourning the loss

I went back to the place where I found the only thing that made my heart move.
The feeling of butterflies being true and finding the love inside your arms was now my muse.
I came back to our tree where I looked for our footsteps that paved our once upon a time destiny.
We found each other souls which transcended us into mates.
Something so rare now is a travesty…
We don’t feel the way we once did and now I’m alone where it all began…
to mourn this loss.
A loss of love.
A loss of us.
I lost a part of my soul.
And I’ll leave it here for you to hold.
Because if we ever meet again, I would want it to be here.
This magical destination that left us breathless.
We were speechless but all our thoughts were so clear.
We found true, undeniable love.
And that’s why I came back here.
To see where we went wrong…
And to mourn this lost…
Clear depicted memories of you holding me in your arms and showing me something I have never felt before.
The internal self so exclaimed because she and I both know this was something so real and it gave me permission to finally let go.
And Let God.
By My God, where has it gone?
I look at him and died on the inside.
I love him so much all I can do is just cry…
His beautiful wings gave me the sweetest permission to fly…
And I soared into the sky, got scared and your wings dissipated and I withered and died.
Now I’m back here trying to pretend I can move on..
And being something your not falls short of carrying on.
So I carry this heartache on my back while listening to all our songs.
Dedications to one anther to solidify our bond.
Or as you may call it our divine tranquility…
I have to carry this pain to some sort of sanctuary…
Because what we thought was so interconnected is now arbitrary.
We replaced magic for normalcy…
Our embrace now only work related, our glances to one another searching for our once was.
And our heartfelt connections are now the distant memory of our love.
So that’s why I came back here, to feel the once was, of that true indicator we both knew to be real.
And now I can’t describe in words of the anguish my mind body and soul feels.
So I mourn this loss and with that said, ill leave our evanescence here.

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This labyrinth of our faults

Your beauty and its allies destroy the mere subconscious I have set aside for you.
Full of nurturing, this keepsake you can always come back to
This treasure in which I found however was far from a lucid excursion.
Overseeing the reality of my very own tainted picture of happiness but yet question myself on why this hurts so damn bad.
Woe to the irony.
See..I’m a connoisseur of seeing the rue that was foreseed.
Such web of deception, some will call us the hopeless sinners, but I’ll say we were the meticulous little souls that want to constantly prove how much we love love.
All while when time recedes.
And maybe that’s just it…..the love we have isn’t for the purpose we came together for, maybe something deeper. These love actions or rather suspicious skeptic power chess moves we internally play have the outside world seeing is believing, knowing and achieving…..all while we are steering and reeling.
Such web of The deception we encounter is a beautiful and zealous one.
Maybe this has its shallow waters that we refuse to swim.
But it makes for one hell of a ride yet my feet are finally tired from this amusement park.
Like clockwork, here you come card starking your way back to this bliss so unknown to the public eye…
And my poor hand got me wanting to throw it in every time but I remain unfazed…great bluff face….
Only after hours…days….weeks of practicing in the mirror.
Staring at the hopelessness.
This labyrinth of our faults will be ever lasting
…and letting go of our ego will be the escape key…