#dead

A beautiful nightmare 

Now I’m searching something deeper than us

This plague you gave me to bear with you I freely obliged.

I thought that’s what love did.

I wanted to make you see the light

To help you with your inner peace

To be a listening ear when you need to talk 

To be your housing authority when you find you couldn’t go back home

A place we want to call love 

I’m being mistreated as a sacrifice for what’s greater

I’m hurting myself because your hurting yourself

I was a void you tried to fill

All along I was filling a void in your life

This wasn’t healthy to begin with.

Maybe we should have saw this coming 

Maybe we should have taken it slower

But now we are here and we have no hold on what’s tomorrow

This pain is so real.

I mean my nerves are rattling 

Running for my life on the treadmill

as if I need to get away from here

I need you so bad and I am so sorry for the words I’ve said 

I never meant to hurt you

I say things out of misery 

I need you to understand this 

I became addicted and you became missing 

So I filed a missing persons report then you call me to tell me your fine.

So how was it I wasn’t suppose to lose my mind?! 

You come and go as you please

And I’m sitting here on my knees 

Dying.

Crying .

You don’t understand what grief is until you inflict it on someone else

And I’m the one who is selfish.

What happen to us? 

There’s no words to describe this feeling so let me make an analogy.

You know how flowers grow?

Sunlight and water is all that they need to proposer. 

No additives such as promised futures and expected tomorrows 

Just water and sunlight.

Why couldn’t we be that?

We knew that…

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The walking dead

Walking dead among this earth because this heart of mine is pumping emotions I can’t disguise…

Having to see you every day knowing what we could have been, I slowly feel my lungs pumping past its size.

The love we make is on constant repeat in my soul as I try to suppress your majestic being that came as a surprise.

How can I ever walk again?

The only road I can walk on is the same path that welcomes zombies.

The only release I can ever have recruits these tears and it initiates my sobbing.

I want to throw a boycott on this flag on the play, in which my heart needs intense lobbying…

I now walk with my head held low.

There’s no point to my life at this current moment.
I’m in your presence but you see me much as a torrent.
You look at me as if we can’t ever make our once was fairy tale current.

You made me like this.

You didn’t come for me, didn’t grab my hand as I walked out…
You don’t care no more, and I’m left to deal with these internal bouts.
Why couldn’t we just change the pace?
I thought of u more than empty metaphoric parking lots…
Because spaces between our sentences we shared didn’t need a ticket slot.

We shared the same similes.
Yet I believed that I was sold on a dream.
Now I walk among the dead.
Aimlessly walking as if im searching for someone to see if my soul is alive

Someone please come revive me…