#feeling

When sisterhood are homes…

Dreaming of a home that was through a true friendship

A sisterhood

A safe place

Where you can be real with yourself,

To each other.

Judging each other character flaws

The ugly truths expose.

It’s cool because no one is perfect

And you know this friend wouldn’t dare use you in vain.

Their words are important to you

So you gently listen to them

Correcting them for the intent for them to grow

Never diminishing.

A true home where you know they are there walking beside you through it all.

A forgiving home.

A place where apologies is like the ocean.

Full of fluidity and energy behind our sorry’s,

Because we genuinely mean it and recognize when we have hurt each other.

A home where you are supported.

You are watered here like a flower because true love would never dare hurt you.

A friendship that’ll last not because you have common interest, but your soul recognize theirs.

Then I woke up.

I look around and I see selfish self intended love…

Friends who only hit you up when they need something,

Friends who can’t keep their word,

Friends who don’t support you when you need it the most,

Sisters who only care about their self.

I walk around and see friends that don’t talk for years and a honest conversation could mend their brokenness.

I saw greed that broke friendships apart realizing how money is truly the root that was dug up and a sisterhood bond turning brown ready to die.

I saw through space and time a beautiful home being broken apart because they have changed in a way where they don’t recognize each other any more…

I feel the loneliness and sorrow of friends being tore apart,

The ones you need you don’t have anymore.

They say it gets better with time, they say just forget about them,

But when you lose a friend that feels like home,

Nothing is a win.

Living on and trusting the universe it happened for a reason,

Hoping your days will get better.

For now the homelessness feels bitterness towards them,

How dare them you say.

The betrayal feels so real.

But the part we all forget is…

Did you see why they feel the way they do?

Did you receive a different perspective?

Did you let the water run dry when you could have led them to a river?

Was sorry too hard for you to say because you don’t like to realize your own wrongdoing?

Whether I was dreaming or whether I am awake nothing feels more painful than losing a home you thought was build on solid ground.

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a table for two

Our inner refugees are temporarily free when we kissOne can only see.

Our embrace will identify that we can save the world. 

Or save ourselves.

The feeling of this drowning spirit I have waited a lifetime for,

your air feels so beautiful in all of my stable ways.

Two artists sharing a distant taste of ambiguity,

Yet finding congruency in one another. 

So paint my canvas and decorate it as you see fit,

indulge in us while we pay homage while the candles are lit.

In a matter of time

In a matter of time,
In all that I do know
Is that you called my bluff.
I just carry enough,
to cover up what I want.
And that want is you.
I miss our can’t live without
you kisses
And the joy in my stomachic bottom pit that left my heart open.
What if you can see my soul needing you by looking into my eyes?
Even so, I’ll always want my eyes to be beautiful for you.
I love you so damn much,
You have finally brought me to my knees.