funeral

What I sufficed

What you misused is what I sufficed.
What I thought was true was a complete lie.
I tiptoed around your metaphors
And did a rain dance in your convincing cries.
Why God must I be such an advocate of love?
It’s not my ally.
It carries the heaviest weight.
But you mirrored it as light as a feather.
Ill do anything for you,
From being your personal hoe, to planting seeds
that needs to grow,
Yet you secretly wish I wasn’t so fast,
And I wish I wasn’t so slow.
So in essence, I became your muse.
Or so I thought.
I’m simply amusement to you.
So now it’s a selfish brawl,
In which we started walking before we crawled.
You use me to sharpen your saw,
& I’m left with the indignant features
Of a broken law.
My heart swells for you as yours deflate.
Yes this can be classified as ying and yang
but this is a state of belligerency
Like Chad and Sudan.
These thousand paper cranes illustrating my broken
heart flies in a distance of time where can’t relive.
Then I see you, the dove, flying free.
Same doves that’s used for funerals.

Mourning the loss

I went back to the place where I found the only thing that made my heart move.
The feeling of butterflies being true and finding the love inside your arms was now my muse.
I came back to our tree where I looked for our footsteps that paved our once upon a time destiny.
We found each other souls which transcended us into mates.
Something so rare now is a travesty…
We don’t feel the way we once did and now I’m alone where it all began…
to mourn this loss.
A loss of love.
A loss of us.
I lost a part of my soul.
And I’ll leave it here for you to hold.
Because if we ever meet again, I would want it to be here.
This magical destination that left us breathless.
We were speechless but all our thoughts were so clear.
We found true, undeniable love.
And that’s why I came back here.
To see where we went wrong…
And to mourn this lost…
Clear depicted memories of you holding me in your arms and showing me something I have never felt before.
The internal self so exclaimed because she and I both know this was something so real and it gave me permission to finally let go.
And Let God.
By My God, where has it gone?
I look at him and died on the inside.
I love him so much all I can do is just cry…
His beautiful wings gave me the sweetest permission to fly…
And I soared into the sky, got scared and your wings dissipated and I withered and died.
Now I’m back here trying to pretend I can move on..
And being something your not falls short of carrying on.
So I carry this heartache on my back while listening to all our songs.
Dedications to one anther to solidify our bond.
Or as you may call it our divine tranquility…
I have to carry this pain to some sort of sanctuary…
Because what we thought was so interconnected is now arbitrary.
We replaced magic for normalcy…
Our embrace now only work related, our glances to one another searching for our once was.
And our heartfelt connections are now the distant memory of our love.
So that’s why I came back here, to feel the once was, of that true indicator we both knew to be real.
And now I can’t describe in words of the anguish my mind body and soul feels.
So I mourn this loss and with that said, ill leave our evanescence here.

20130713-231630.jpg