One is not the other…

One is not the other

Flip flopped in feelings

Overwhelm at the dichotomies

….these endings and beginnings

Alphas and omegas,

These alpha males and empaths

These narratives you adhere to keep ur image.

Underneath the veil is something more real

Yet one is without the other

flip flopped in feelings

Which one is fulfilling my basic needs

Or my royal status

Place me as you see fit creator

I prefer both

As I am an infinite broadband kinda


that vibrates in 547 hz where the octaves

providing my balance

Where’s the balance in one is not the others

May I ask why do I have to choose?

Is there an infinite amount of souls out here to touch me just where my funny bone needs entertaining?

Or is the safety net much more securing in securing the the applications I have for myself?

The cause and effect.

Oh how did I forget to put the honey on the womb that was the atonement to your aliveness? Your spliced solace 

Combined like terms

And you get I.

With you it was a mistake gone right.

A cold case found 

A rebound

Rebooting the hard drive we thought it was the sound.

It was.

Our truths not told so it was heard in third parties,

Lowly is the man who has nobody.

Friends forever broken down,

passion ignited was the beginning of the end to a union that was suppose to last forever.

Our forever was momentarily infinite.

Parasites to the mental capacity to see beyond our way of thinking left us like this.

 Creative mind ceased,

Yet the memory keeps the juices flowing.

Finding love in a hopeless place put me in a position to be truly loved.

To know what it felt like.

Life ain’t so easy as they say 

And situations ain’t so stationary as envoys 

I was employed

To invite you to a branch of lighthearted comfort and familiarity.

You served as an editor of what Self worth meant to me,

I see the God in me,

All thanks to you.

Appreciation is an understatement 

I appreciate this current present.

To love and be loved so perfectly aligned 

I never could of dream of such sweetness.

The cause and effect. 

Going through the dark to see the light.

You made it all possible.

I thank you for your wisdom.

I’ll never be the same.

Never knew I can be so indebted to this pain eating away at the place I’m hiding.
I’m slipping away so quietly no one knows I’m walking around here dying.
I thought I knew better, but I ended up not knowing I was in love.
But you never know what you got until it’s gone and I’m left sighing.

Erroneous gasps of breaths I take looking up at our moon.
Reminiscing how it once was ours knowing we were flying there soon.
Seeing was believing and It was felt through our elongated hugs.
Lying here with your wings on my back feeling like a crazy fool.

How didn’t I not believe in us?
How could I have so little trust?
You were my knight in shinny armor and preceptor,
And I was the one you saw as the light even when it was dusk.

I’ll never be the same.

Sooner or later.

Sooner or later this will be obsolete.
Something I can look back on and say to myself how I have grown from this,
How I managed to stay on my feet.
Sooner or later I won’t be such the spy and go through archives that my eyes aren’t for and being an undisclosed creep.
Because my blood is beginning to seep.

Onto paper that is.
I can’t wait for the day I can laugh at my naivety and see how I have grown from this.
Looking back with my briefcase in hand carrying my success.
Sooner or later I can move on from the way I was dismissed.
How you left me for dead, dug my grave for me and kiss the casket and mumbled I will be sorrowfully missed.

Sooner or later I can get over this.
Like it was some sort of unrealistic goal I believed in
I thought I knew you were meant for me.
There goes my naive state again.
How dare I believe this to be true when I knew what I knew.
In essence I was set up for failure.
Your lies made me believe in hope.
And that word belief is more than what meets our lips.

Sooner or later, my consequences for my actions will be over.

Sooner or later I won’t dream of how life would be for us anymore.
How I can wake up and your finally not the first thought of my day.

Sooner or later I’ll stop kicking myself of the mistakes I made with us,
Or even wishing I didn’t even try it with us.
where were my standards?
I blame this open heart of mine.
Its always being taken advantage of.

Sooner or later, I’ll forgive myself.
Forgiving my past, the hurts associated with it, and the blame I use to make the poor decisions I make.

Sooner or later, I’ll take heed to what you taught me,
And I’ll blossom into that potential you said I didn’t even see in myself.

Sooner or later I’ll love myself.
Wholeheartedly and Un-byknowingly.

Sooner or later I’ll be careful of letting someone enter my spirit without asking God for discernment first.

Until then, I shall commence in this pain.
Killing myself,
Reminiscing on all of our beautiful memories we made.
Believing in this extinction,
As I completely know the truth.

Sooner or later, I hope to stop crying over you.