#life

When sisterhood are homes…

Dreaming of a home that was through a true friendship

A sisterhood

A safe place

Where you can be real with yourself,

To each other.

Judging each other character flaws

The ugly truths expose.

It’s cool because no one is perfect

And you know this friend wouldn’t dare use you in vain.

Their words are important to you

So you gently listen to them

Correcting them for the intent for them to grow

Never diminishing.

A true home where you know they are there walking beside you through it all.

A forgiving home.

A place where apologies is like the ocean.

Full of fluidity and energy behind our sorry’s,

Because we genuinely mean it and recognize when we have hurt each other.

A home where you are supported.

You are watered here like a flower because true love would never dare hurt you.

A friendship that’ll last not because you have common interest, but your soul recognize theirs.

Then I woke up.

I look around and I see selfish self intended love…

Friends who only hit you up when they need something,

Friends who can’t keep their word,

Friends who don’t support you when you need it the most,

Sisters who only care about their self.

I walk around and see friends that don’t talk for years and a honest conversation could mend their brokenness.

I saw greed that broke friendships apart realizing how money is truly the root that was dug up and a sisterhood bond turning brown ready to die.

I saw through space and time a beautiful home being broken apart because they have changed in a way where they don’t recognize each other any more…

I feel the loneliness and sorrow of friends being tore apart,

The ones you need you don’t have anymore.

They say it gets better with time, they say just forget about them,

But when you lose a friend that feels like home,

Nothing is a win.

Living on and trusting the universe it happened for a reason,

Hoping your days will get better.

For now the homelessness feels bitterness towards them,

How dare them you say.

The betrayal feels so real.

But the part we all forget is…

Did you see why they feel the way they do?

Did you receive a different perspective?

Did you let the water run dry when you could have led them to a river?

Was sorry too hard for you to say because you don’t like to realize your own wrongdoing?

Whether I was dreaming or whether I am awake nothing feels more painful than losing a home you thought was build on solid ground.

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The cause and effect.

Oh how did I forget to put the honey on the womb that was the atonement to your aliveness? Your spliced solace 

Combined like terms

And you get I.

With you it was a mistake gone right.

A cold case found 

A rebound

Rebooting the hard drive we thought it was the sound.

It was.

Our truths not told so it was heard in third parties,

Lowly is the man who has nobody.

Friends forever broken down,

passion ignited was the beginning of the end to a union that was suppose to last forever.

Our forever was momentarily infinite.

Parasites to the mental capacity to see beyond our way of thinking left us like this.

 Creative mind ceased,

Yet the memory keeps the juices flowing.

Finding love in a hopeless place put me in a position to be truly loved.

To know what it felt like.

Life ain’t so easy as they say 

And situations ain’t so stationary as envoys 

I was employed

To invite you to a branch of lighthearted comfort and familiarity.

You served as an editor of what Self worth meant to me,

I see the God in me,

All thanks to you.

Appreciation is an understatement 

I appreciate this current present.

To love and be loved so perfectly aligned 

I never could of dream of such sweetness.

The cause and effect. 

Going through the dark to see the light.

You made it all possible.

I thank you for your wisdom.

this flesh on my skin….¬†

This flesh on my skin is the allure of the sins we digress to

Not to mention I’m fully aware

But his soft voice in my inner walls whisper gospels

The beauty of being found.

And I understand why we all feel lost 

You found everything you need
Yet you must suppress 

Yet you must digest 

But you must repress
That overwhelming feeling

we identify as love

Because options are invasive for him

Justifications are merely opinionated objections to let you know that “gem” isn’t mutual.
So you go back to your cubit corners 

to be as monotonous as you can

Because going outside of your own walls gets you nowhere

Or perhaps those walls are the unknown we didn’t realize existed.
See I’m just a girl searching for the truth.

And your lunar stages are all of my moons.

So I just want to be your orbit.
Seem my mind is blown when I found the reason why we live through our kiss.

So that flesh on my skin,

So chocolately and smooth,

That cold heart that touches mine when we take our clothes off,

Searching for our souls by each stroke we attempt to find the truth.

Searching for the answer by each hug we embrace ourselves in.
Yet we are dying of thirst.

We need to revive our past and the energy we placed our present in needs to be retrieved.  

That’s the essence of a glass of water.
But until then, we’ll figure it out.

Because this skin on my skin means I just relapse 

And I’m fully aware of it too…

Barely there always air

A touch of air is all that’s really there
maybe you don’t understand your magnitude to be aware,
But the people u leave behind, their hearts are barely there,
Including mine.

I can’t say to stop the beautiful path you are on…
Because if I was brave enough to follow,
I want to leave footprints behind every walk you endured in a country unfamiliar so you’ll always know someone always has your back.
But let me not get too emotional.
We are taught to perform brain surgery on our feelings when we are at our worst.

I just want a positive outcome from our experience. But life gave you magma that even though it has the power to recreate, it’s still rock hard like the apathy you have adopted.

Your volatility meeting my stable calm.
My earthy senses gently feeling your air.