#naught

The cause and effect.

Oh how did I forget to put the honey on the womb that was the atonement to your aliveness? Your spliced solace 

Combined like terms

And you get I.

With you it was a mistake gone right.

A cold case found 

A rebound

Rebooting the hard drive we thought it was the sound.

It was.

Our truths not told so it was heard in third parties,

Lowly is the man who has nobody.

Friends forever broken down,

passion ignited was the beginning of the end to a union that was suppose to last forever.

Our forever was momentarily infinite.

Parasites to the mental capacity to see beyond our way of thinking left us like this.

 Creative mind ceased,

Yet the memory keeps the juices flowing.

Finding love in a hopeless place put me in a position to be truly loved.

To know what it felt like.

Life ain’t so easy as they say 

And situations ain’t so stationary as envoys 

I was employed

To invite you to a branch of lighthearted comfort and familiarity.

You served as an editor of what Self worth meant to me,

I see the God in me,

All thanks to you.

Appreciation is an understatement 

I appreciate this current present.

To love and be loved so perfectly aligned 

I never could of dream of such sweetness.

The cause and effect. 

Going through the dark to see the light.

You made it all possible.

I thank you for your wisdom.

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A penny for my thoughts.

A penny for my thoughts….
Is the monetary fund you gave me…
Meanwhile I’m rationally thinking…
Or so I thought.
I’m sitting here, confusing myself.
Not understanding why I couldn’t just be myself…
And just be with you.
Listening to ppl who isn’t feeling how I feel.
I didn’t even give you a chance to make me feel.
I guess it was too real.
I guess these scars on my heart still aren’t healed.
Maybe I just needed you near.
Your situation doesn’t make me feel secure.
I just needed to think about this more…
But these penny thoughts had me thinking maybe I’m being played so I wasn’t quite sure….
You told me she stays with you
And saw a flashback of the inevitable future.
Something like the Alpha and Omega would predict our nurture.
I forecast your inveiglement.
But I’m not a weatherman and now I’m left with these sculptures.
Picturesque paintings you so openly gave me that is life before our very eyes only for a weekend.
You breathed me.
I fucking can’t believe this.
You showed me forever with no wristband.
like a child drawing heart shapes in the sand.
And I so casually withdrew my hand.
So where does that leave me?
fucked up sitting here trying to count these pennies for my thoughts…
I just lost out on something that truly made me happy for once in my life.
Or so I thought.
I didn’t allow you to even get a chance to show me what true intimacy was…
My thoughts needed an indenture for you to sign.
The fuck was I thinking?
But you gave me a penny for my thoughts…
And it just hit me….
That all these thoughts don’t mean shit when your thinking is naught.
Pennies for these nothing thoughts and I just missed out on a love that would have maybe brought clarity to my heart.