#nolove

The cause and effect.

Oh how did I forget to put the honey on the womb that was the atonement to your aliveness? Your spliced solace 

Combined like terms

And you get I.

With you it was a mistake gone right.

A cold case found 

A rebound

Rebooting the hard drive we thought it was the sound.

It was.

Our truths not told so it was heard in third parties,

Lowly is the man who has nobody.

Friends forever broken down,

passion ignited was the beginning of the end to a union that was suppose to last forever.

Our forever was momentarily infinite.

Parasites to the mental capacity to see beyond our way of thinking left us like this.

 Creative mind ceased,

Yet the memory keeps the juices flowing.

Finding love in a hopeless place put me in a position to be truly loved.

To know what it felt like.

Life ain’t so easy as they say 

And situations ain’t so stationary as envoys 

I was employed

To invite you to a branch of lighthearted comfort and familiarity.

You served as an editor of what Self worth meant to me,

I see the God in me,

All thanks to you.

Appreciation is an understatement 

I appreciate this current present.

To love and be loved so perfectly aligned 

I never could of dream of such sweetness.

The cause and effect. 

Going through the dark to see the light.

You made it all possible.

I thank you for your wisdom.

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The world is a terrorist attack

Yemen car bombings to charleston deadly shootings

Our black race is under fire since like forever

Chlorine attacks in no fly zones and who suffers is our children 

Man I wanna cry

Damn I wanna save lives

Fucking Dominican Republic mindset feel like they gotta ethnic cleanse
Why are you so conformed?

Instead of being informed?

Aren’t you aware you are ruining lives?
This world is a terrorist attack.

And we have to just sit and watch when you don’t have the power.

The shit is sad.

 

Silver spoon

Growing up I was privileged.I had a silver spoon in my mouth.

But I wasn’t given a fork.
Heartbroken since birth,

I learned at an early age I was 

disposable.

But boy the silver spoon life was one 

to brag about.
Expensive taste but poverty-stricken heart.

No one knew the battle I faced coming to a house that wasn’t a home.

No one there to help you with your homework,

Help you scare off the ghosts in your closet,

No one there to help you feel love like a real mother shows her kids.
Everything felt conditional because I knew there would be that infallible moment the fictional love given to me would expire.
The ruins of a childhood trying to find who would love you are from broken relationships I carry in my spirit. 
The transparency.
Lying became my recourse

so I can sit in imaginary tree houses and tell imaginary stories to imaginary people of once upon a time tales when I was a princess and her mommy and daddy gave her a thousand kisses each night. 
Too bad reality always reminds us talking to yourself is a form of crazy.
So where would we find our therapy?

Because I’m sure a pill couldn’t make up for the fact of not being loved enough still means loving yourself when you live in a society that forces you to do something you don’t wanna do because you are suppose to love yourself when in fact loving yourself means you actually do. 
Somewhere there’s a clue.

Not too sure if it lies in man though.

Crush after crush a crushing blow reminds me I’m different.

The difference is that I will always be me vs the world.

Praying each day I don’t take my own self out.

Loving a Gemini

I just made love to a Gemini.
The same side where he showed the most affection and assist me to where my inhabitants were.
And I came the same time the rising sun was placed into the sky.
I just made love to the same face of a Gemini that found where my sweet spot was,
The same side that took time to find what made my soul tick,
He looked me in my eyes and told me it was ok to feel free.

After it was all said and done, he gently laid on my chest.
As if it felt like I had a leg up on all the rest,
His one hundredth and one.
But then he put his clothes on and asked me if he should lock the door behind him.
That’s when I knew this was another side I should of coached myself to.
He’ll be looking in his rear view mirror to see if there is any residue of the love we have just ensued,
And go home and hug his wife under the covers like he was never mine.
In the meantime he has me and her crying and dying simultaneously for his time.
Not knowing we both want the same thing, we carry on this lie.
Lying to ourselves that the next time it will be different,
Knowing fully well that this is what we have accepted.
Only difference is she is his.
I am no ones.
I come alone even if he is in me, so there’s no innate intimacy.
Because I just made love to a Gemini.
The same guy that has two sides,
The same guy that continually makes my heart ache for him,
So I will sit in this room and hope he hears my cries.