#peaceofmind

What I saw is what I became.

The moon slightly new. The dawn coming soon, I see myself in the mirror and what I see is you.

I remember your gestures, right down to how you maneuver.Initially thought obscurity, you gently gave me a tour to your heart and how it’s shattered.

I went to your brain and saw how it’s assessed. I went to your spleen and saw the rage. you guided me to your darkness and I realized I didn’t pack a lunch. 

What I saw is what I became.Energy transference complete.You won I am defeated.With the greatest of psychedelic chemistry, you gave me your misery.I gladly took it with hopes I could see you shine like a mystic,Centerfold catalogs is where I saw you belong. 

my place in your life was to show you love is infinite. 

We both deserved each other.

Or perhaps it was preparation to induce more pain in you so you can heal properly.

Be one again.
Even the most ambitious must be aware some things are simply out of reach.I couldn’t get to you in time.

“Blame it on my youth.”

You slip out of my hands.No one caught me when I was falling off the ledge. You weren’t my savior yet you never intended to hurt me.

This end result is a hard laboring crime.
Up all night seeing our bodies intertwine in the dark as I mercifully watch my bed we made love in. “Where our souls danced.” The same bed you felt guilty in. The same bedding I drowned my tears in afraid that overdose was welcoming my death.

the death of a heaven sent union shattered by words and actions and pride and selfishness.

It didn’t have to be like this.But it is.

I ponder over numbers.I see soliloquies of the memories. I hear tale telling footsteps. I scream at the idiosyncrasies.

Yet and still you’ll be the one I would never understand. Until you uncover your belief in me. I can only dream you are marinating on the same thoughts.

Just as I still feel the deepest part of me tugging to be with you soon. 

 Another part is praying to never be in the likes of someone to use me as their crutch for self serving reasons.

Reasons and seasons.

Time is the illusion.

Let’s mind our mindfulness. 

Like a dummy…

Like a dummy, she’s on hold…
Like a dummy, she waits for him.
She offers her everything to the table
He brags about the tablecloth on it
She feels offended
He could care less.
Like a dummy, she receives no reply
He’s laughing with his friends as if she is no worry.
She feels ashamed.
She talks so highly of him.
Yet her tears are masked by the rain
He takes her for granted.
She takes herself for granted.
Self love is in order…
She sold herself short
He gladly took her offer
Now she feels nothing.
As if she knew this was going to happen
In which it did.
Female intuition is one hell of power
Yet she feels powerless.
Like a dummy, she is hanging on his every word
And like the beautiful charmer you are,
You allow her to imagine this feigned world.
Without putting yourself in it with her.
And like a dummy, she is still waiting for you to call….
As if she knew this could be the end.
Actions will always speak louder than words.
So she’ll go have fun.
She’ll no longer short change herself.
She might miss an amazing journey,
But refuses to see its destination.
Nothing is more peaceful than security.
You provide none.
Like a dummy, she cried last night.
You seem to not care.
Your not reaching out to her.
Like a dummy she looks at her phone and stare.
Vacant looks into space questioning herself where did she go wrong.
She sees clarity,
she now know he was the prototype.
And as beautiful as this was,
She knows being a dummy is like not having a backbone.
So she’ll have fortitude.
She’ll make it through.
You are beautiful.
Yet your a mirage
Thank you for allowing her to see
That your love is not for me…