#poetry

When sisterhood are homes…

Dreaming of a home that was through a true friendship

A sisterhood

A safe place

Where you can be real with yourself,

To each other.

Judging each other character flaws

The ugly truths expose.

It’s cool because no one is perfect

And you know this friend wouldn’t dare use you in vain.

Their words are important to you

So you gently listen to them

Correcting them for the intent for them to grow

Never diminishing.

A true home where you know they are there walking beside you through it all.

A forgiving home.

A place where apologies is like the ocean.

Full of fluidity and energy behind our sorry’s,

Because we genuinely mean it and recognize when we have hurt each other.

A home where you are supported.

You are watered here like a flower because true love would never dare hurt you.

A friendship that’ll last not because you have common interest, but your soul recognize theirs.

Then I woke up.

I look around and I see selfish self intended love…

Friends who only hit you up when they need something,

Friends who can’t keep their word,

Friends who don’t support you when you need it the most,

Sisters who only care about their self.

I walk around and see friends that don’t talk for years and a honest conversation could mend their brokenness.

I saw greed that broke friendships apart realizing how money is truly the root that was dug up and a sisterhood bond turning brown ready to die.

I saw through space and time a beautiful home being broken apart because they have changed in a way where they don’t recognize each other any more…

I feel the loneliness and sorrow of friends being tore apart,

The ones you need you don’t have anymore.

They say it gets better with time, they say just forget about them,

But when you lose a friend that feels like home,

Nothing is a win.

Living on and trusting the universe it happened for a reason,

Hoping your days will get better.

For now the homelessness feels bitterness towards them,

How dare them you say.

The betrayal feels so real.

But the part we all forget is…

Did you see why they feel the way they do?

Did you receive a different perspective?

Did you let the water run dry when you could have led them to a river?

Was sorry too hard for you to say because you don’t like to realize your own wrongdoing?

Whether I was dreaming or whether I am awake nothing feels more painful than losing a home you thought was build on solid ground.

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The cause and effect.

Oh how did I forget to put the honey on the womb that was the atonement to your aliveness? Your spliced solace 

Combined like terms

And you get I.

With you it was a mistake gone right.

A cold case found 

A rebound

Rebooting the hard drive we thought it was the sound.

It was.

Our truths not told so it was heard in third parties,

Lowly is the man who has nobody.

Friends forever broken down,

passion ignited was the beginning of the end to a union that was suppose to last forever.

Our forever was momentarily infinite.

Parasites to the mental capacity to see beyond our way of thinking left us like this.

 Creative mind ceased,

Yet the memory keeps the juices flowing.

Finding love in a hopeless place put me in a position to be truly loved.

To know what it felt like.

Life ain’t so easy as they say 

And situations ain’t so stationary as envoys 

I was employed

To invite you to a branch of lighthearted comfort and familiarity.

You served as an editor of what Self worth meant to me,

I see the God in me,

All thanks to you.

Appreciation is an understatement 

I appreciate this current present.

To love and be loved so perfectly aligned 

I never could of dream of such sweetness.

The cause and effect. 

Going through the dark to see the light.

You made it all possible.

I thank you for your wisdom.

Perspective 

Through the pastures where the mystical Jesus was born Subconsciously the carbon monoxide arise from those pastures.In my heart up it goes to the atmosphere.

Loving you was like slave masters lashes, I lashed out. And passive aggressive behaviors kept me in line.

You didn’t love me enough.

I had a pleasure in seeing how you would rest your chin on my violin and played me so gently. I had the pleasure of being found finally.

Like the 7 wonders of the world I found one I wouldn’t stop visiting. unrequited love was your form of control to just go be. Guess I only saw this as a commitment.

You been check out as you saw it from the clouds looking dow.Instead of making a choice to walk beside me in this.

It’s cool.

You didn’t love me enough.

But it’s not cool.

Long nights wondering if I believe if this earth were made up of buddhas and Horus’s. I delve into sound waves of what sequences in our sacred geometry that put a world between us.

I try to find you in celestial forms.Planet placements that maybe you hop in and out of.Using astral projection to maybe see what way to have control over me.

These dried up tears listening to cranes in the sky on repeat wondering if I got strings on my chest because I still follow your words in my head to see where it went wrong.

You didn’t love me enough 

I’m grounding and u gave me a sense of foundation yet u did the same for me until you disappeared. Where do you go when people who love you miss you? Do you not acknowledge their presence in your life? 

You didn’t love me enough

I stayed, I found, I sacrificed, I illustrated, yet you mastered. Two completely different frequencies and neither one of them saw that a blessing was slipping away. Was it true love because it didn’t last or was it too heavenly for earthly basic needs? 

I say he didn’t love me enough.

I’m sure he’ll say she didn’t love me enough. 

Through my pain she should have hid her power of her truth from me and focus on me.Seeing where I am at mentally, to come in and play the ultimate sorcery. 

I needed her to adore me like I do her.She didn’t see my protecting her was my way of showing her my love.

She played with me as if I didn’t spend my time not getting to know her.How dare write this poem when I was there when no one was? 

Through my own devastation I tried loving her with me being open.She broke me down with truthfulness.

She messed everything up by not being everything I want.My masculinity wouldn’t accept men are predators and she was quite the flirt.

She didn’t love me enough.

True wisdom is what I provided giving her the tools for her to see this through, navigate our relationship with rightful eyes and she let me down.

She didn’t love me enough.

I thought for the both of us, Queen that she is.She got me wondering how do I love again after this,Is this what women do, who knows,

But she didn’t understand so I left.Because I need someone to love me enough.

And she cried because she wasn’t given a second chance and her love language completely ignored.

He didn’t love her enough.

To let go.

The subconscious facial expressions that I make that are you I must be aware of to dead away

To be on block 

a dead bird on the side of the road 

To be never looked back on

Yet it’s remembered by the lingers at the mere thought of it 

I must try to let go of the love that is embedded in my heart for you 

The soul snatching making me swoon 

Eye catching enchanted whispers you consume

Somehow I must say goodbye to you.

Even though I lay down next to you.

your memory lingers here 

you already had our story played out 

And I was placed in your unwanted list of unrealistic expectations. 

So I die.

Dying to tell you I need you

But pride killed that vibe 

I scrunched upon the pieces of myself in tulum 

Where I denied infliction 

I’m too strong to admit such atrocity

Yet aware of the affliction I placed on you.

Revenge wasn’t so sweet as I suspected.

I was left with the wherewithal of misery.

Hurt begets hurt.

Unresolved vulnerability lingers across the four walls I stare at.

The loss of a lover.
I don’t remember our last kiss.

I remember the feeling.

I hope I can only see through this.

To let go is where I will find my strength. 

Reflections

Ever tried seeing their soul Instead of their mistakes Evert tried listening to their voice Instead of their stories Every shout of anger attack Every cry at night they had Every moment they tried to laugh But failed after a thousand attempt crap It’s a reflection of their deep soul A reflection of every word […]

https://mysteriousromanticism1.wordpress.com/2016/01/02/reflections/

What a ride 

I finally got over the fear and hopped on the roller coaster of falling in love with you. What a pleasure to see this celestial state we we’re in every time I looked into your eyes. 
What a loop to loop of the electrifying flip flopping that occurs in the pit of my stomach to remind me every time how much I would love to preserve this. 

Your tender kindness keeps me bounded to my seat when I see what centripetal forces of life has. And through the differences that we have, we know it’s natural to experience friction as long as we are confident in knowing what we have will last. 

But inertia happens. I didn’t bother to put on a seat belt because your love made me feel secure, and I knew this for sure. 

It made me feel like chai tea, warming my heart from this cold world.

And free, 

Your love set me free and remind me to always be me,

To always know I have a friend that loves me unconditionally.

Words were said and neither of us knew how powerful they could resonate. Now I’m scared it’s now only me fighting for us to stay in love.

Afraid you may have left this ride without giving me the proper warning signs before we started. 

Alone in the dark questioning if I am still your beacon in the dark,

Afraid I may one day could lose a best friend I found in you.

It’s sickening my heart.