#queen

When sisterhood are homes…

Dreaming of a home that was through a true friendship

A sisterhood

A safe place

Where you can be real with yourself,

To each other.

Judging each other character flaws

The ugly truths expose.

It’s cool because no one is perfect

And you know this friend wouldn’t dare use you in vain.

Their words are important to you

So you gently listen to them

Correcting them for the intent for them to grow

Never diminishing.

A true home where you know they are there walking beside you through it all.

A forgiving home.

A place where apologies is like the ocean.

Full of fluidity and energy behind our sorry’s,

Because we genuinely mean it and recognize when we have hurt each other.

A home where you are supported.

You are watered here like a flower because true love would never dare hurt you.

A friendship that’ll last not because you have common interest, but your soul recognize theirs.

Then I woke up.

I look around and I see selfish self intended love…

Friends who only hit you up when they need something,

Friends who can’t keep their word,

Friends who don’t support you when you need it the most,

Sisters who only care about their self.

I walk around and see friends that don’t talk for years and a honest conversation could mend their brokenness.

I saw greed that broke friendships apart realizing how money is truly the root that was dug up and a sisterhood bond turning brown ready to die.

I saw through space and time a beautiful home being broken apart because they have changed in a way where they don’t recognize each other any more…

I feel the loneliness and sorrow of friends being tore apart,

The ones you need you don’t have anymore.

They say it gets better with time, they say just forget about them,

But when you lose a friend that feels like home,

Nothing is a win.

Living on and trusting the universe it happened for a reason,

Hoping your days will get better.

For now the homelessness feels bitterness towards them,

How dare them you say.

The betrayal feels so real.

But the part we all forget is…

Did you see why they feel the way they do?

Did you receive a different perspective?

Did you let the water run dry when you could have led them to a river?

Was sorry too hard for you to say because you don’t like to realize your own wrongdoing?

Whether I was dreaming or whether I am awake nothing feels more painful than losing a home you thought was build on solid ground.

Advertisements

The cause and effect.

Oh how did I forget to put the honey on the womb that was the atonement to your aliveness? Your spliced solace 

Combined like terms

And you get I.

With you it was a mistake gone right.

A cold case found 

A rebound

Rebooting the hard drive we thought it was the sound.

It was.

Our truths not told so it was heard in third parties,

Lowly is the man who has nobody.

Friends forever broken down,

passion ignited was the beginning of the end to a union that was suppose to last forever.

Our forever was momentarily infinite.

Parasites to the mental capacity to see beyond our way of thinking left us like this.

 Creative mind ceased,

Yet the memory keeps the juices flowing.

Finding love in a hopeless place put me in a position to be truly loved.

To know what it felt like.

Life ain’t so easy as they say 

And situations ain’t so stationary as envoys 

I was employed

To invite you to a branch of lighthearted comfort and familiarity.

You served as an editor of what Self worth meant to me,

I see the God in me,

All thanks to you.

Appreciation is an understatement 

I appreciate this current present.

To love and be loved so perfectly aligned 

I never could of dream of such sweetness.

The cause and effect. 

Going through the dark to see the light.

You made it all possible.

I thank you for your wisdom.

God forgive me for being lost

I’m addicted to the pain,
I’m convinced.
Wondering why I am attracted to the ones who doesn’t want to explore my mind but my body is optional for them.

I pick these men of valor who takes pride in what they have as their queen on their arm.
Yet I’m starting to feel like the peasant that they play with, throw crumbs at, and laugh to the sanctions of how naive she must is.

But in reality (in mine that is) I just love love.
Love the connection that intertwine two souls that become one,
Spiritual bonds as our temples are being explored.
I’m not sure if that’s the dictionary version of saying she’s gullible but I do know I’m feeling pretty restless.

When is it my turn to feel the undeniable touch of a person who desires forever with me?
More importantly, why must my internal state feel so lost without it?
Stevie wonder plays the soundtrack of my soul and yet I live a reality of being constantly turned down by the one I want to give my heart to.
Feeling overjoyed until I’m back where I started.
The plot is continuously congruent.
Where must I change at?
Where do I start?

God forgive me for being so lost.

The light.

Do you see the light?
Because I know the feeling of lost.
We can see what is prevalent
today, but it won’t necessarily be for tomorrow.

I saw the light.
Today I found out it’s ok to let go.
No matter how much it hurts.
No matter how much it inspired you.
Because If it hurts you so bad, why hold onto the illusion of
something that poses as the light?

Today, I found the freedom of freeing myself of that hurt.
Knowing I can move on seeing the mistakes I’ve made,
knowing I might never make it back to your heart,
I said to myself, it’s ok.
God is love and it will be what it will be.

I am the light.
You saw it, but you unfairly didn’t parallel it to a unconditional sight.
I didn’t know your love was conditional.
You said we will have issues, we will get scared, so why didn’t you stay when you knew one day we were gonna be there?
So the light moved me on.
Your the reason but you were a season.

I saw the light,
It’s in me.
Tomorrow is a new day.
And yesterday was a day you remain to stay there.
Today I realized I am the light.
Someone else saw it in me too.

The impervious notion…

Frankly speaking, there is no recourse.
we continue to go with the flow, but
this feels lost.
No boundaries were put up,
And as a result, no standard was enforced.

I woke up realizing I yearn stability.
Yet the one I desire has this inability
He can’t show me how to be properly treated,
And I believe his past failed attempts are the causality.

I lay here dissecting the occurrences trying to articulate,
Then the smoke clears and I can firmly date
The last time I felt like this and I wasn’t saved from the sting it brought,
I was gently placed back on the bookshelf where a novelist could create.

You lay here telling me things I know aren’t congruent to my values.
Yet I yearn a love so deep a psychic couldn’t interpret it in eves bayou.
I need to hold on to my truths; my perception is my reality.
So in essence I have to finally throw in the towel.

There’s strength in knowing what you can and cannot put up with.
I cant have my offspring seeing mommy being treated like shit.
What example would I be then, they’ll just be another statistic.
I’m no ones fragmentation of being someone’s one/ tenth.

So smarter decisions must be forthright to what’s right.
And even though your a beautiful soul, I obviously lost sight,
As to why the reason the queen is here to protect her king.
Because the king know she’s here to keep things undeniably tight.

So it’s about that time to finally be crowned.
I can’t wait for your actions to catch up with your words that are loud.
My heart is designed to be soundproofed and it pumps the impervious notion that of a musician..
And the next gig is perhaps somewhere got of town.

I say that to say you mean well but I’m here to excel.
your indistinguishable punch lines are very hard to tell.
So let me know or please let me go,
Because baby if you can send me to heaven, why do I feel like hell?

1000 memories

Take me back to that dream…
Where we found the most invigorating thing that butterflies learned how to swim in our vitalized aura.
We gazed upon God’s beauty in the wilderness as if this very moment we know what the human spirit actually means.

Then we looked at each other and saw the same in one other.

Closing my eyes and finally kissing the lips I yearned for at night.
Tossing and turning only wishing for you to completely savage me with your strong embrace.

I internally smile when u smile at me.
You are bringing out the very best in me.
You opened up and showed me that this is actually for real.
are you giving me permission to finally be free?
I want to just fly forever with you…

Closing my eyes finally knowing I’m kissing those same lips that speak so intelligently, so kindly.

I hope you rub off on me.
Let your residue of your heart smear on me.

Let me be the Queen you deserve.
You were choosing me when all this time I was choosing you.
What a beautiful fate we live.
I never want this romance to end.

Ill write love poems every night while Ill rock your fucking world.
It’s our world baby.
Throw me against our avatar tree while I completely take in your scent. My eyes are rolling in the back of my head.
I’m not in this reality, this is where Angels preside.

Let my heart spill on you like we yearn to be in the same rivers that comprised Niagara falls.

I can’t stop writing about you. Your all my brain relapses to.
You make beautiful merely a word that has only five vowels.
Your beyond a vocabulary’s measure.

You bring joy by the way you simply walk in a room.
And I’m such the catch, you must of been fishing for quite some time.
You hooked me just by that kiss… That unexplainable, bottomless pit, stomach levitating, door to heaven gates kiss.

I only hope I never wake up…