I just made love to a Gemini.
The same side where he showed the most affection and assist me to where my inhabitants were.
And I came the same time the rising sun was placed into the sky.
I just made love to the same face of a Gemini that found where my sweet spot was,
The same side that took time to find what made my soul tick,
He looked me in my eyes and told me it was ok to feel free.
After it was all said and done, he gently laid on my chest.
As if it felt like I had a leg up on all the rest,
His one hundredth and one.
But then he put his clothes on and asked me if he should lock the door behind him.
That’s when I knew this was another side I should of coached myself to.
He’ll be looking in his rear view mirror to see if there is any residue of the love we have just ensued,
And go home and hug his wife under the covers like he was never mine.
In the meantime he has me and her crying and dying simultaneously for his time.
Not knowing we both want the same thing, we carry on this lie.
Lying to ourselves that the next time it will be different,
Knowing fully well that this is what we have accepted.
Only difference is she is his.
I am no ones.
I come alone even if he is in me, so there’s no innate intimacy.
Because I just made love to a Gemini.
The same guy that has two sides,
The same guy that continually makes my heart ache for him,
So I will sit in this room and hope he hears my cries.
I went back to the place where I found the only thing that made my heart move.
The feeling of butterflies being true and finding the love inside your arms was now my muse.
I came back to our tree where I looked for our footsteps that paved our once upon a time destiny.
We found each other souls which transcended us into mates.
Something so rare now is a travesty…
We don’t feel the way we once did and now I’m alone where it all began…
to mourn this loss.
A loss of love.
A loss of us.
I lost a part of my soul.
And I’ll leave it here for you to hold.
Because if we ever meet again, I would want it to be here.
This magical destination that left us breathless.
We were speechless but all our thoughts were so clear.
We found true, undeniable love.
And that’s why I came back here.
To see where we went wrong…
And to mourn this lost…
Clear depicted memories of you holding me in your arms and showing me something I have never felt before.
The internal self so exclaimed because she and I both know this was something so real and it gave me permission to finally let go.
And Let God.
By My God, where has it gone?
I look at him and died on the inside.
I love him so much all I can do is just cry…
His beautiful wings gave me the sweetest permission to fly…
And I soared into the sky, got scared and your wings dissipated and I withered and died.
Now I’m back here trying to pretend I can move on..
And being something your not falls short of carrying on.
So I carry this heartache on my back while listening to all our songs.
Dedications to one anther to solidify our bond.
Or as you may call it our divine tranquility…
I have to carry this pain to some sort of sanctuary…
Because what we thought was so interconnected is now arbitrary.
We replaced magic for normalcy…
Our embrace now only work related, our glances to one another searching for our once was.
And our heartfelt connections are now the distant memory of our love.
So that’s why I came back here, to feel the once was, of that true indicator we both knew to be real.
And now I can’t describe in words of the anguish my mind body and soul feels.
So I mourn this loss and with that said, ill leave our evanescence here.