#space

One is not the other…

One is not the other

Flip flopped in feelings

Overwhelm at the dichotomies

….these endings and beginnings

Alphas and omegas,

These alpha males and empaths

These narratives you adhere to keep ur image.

Underneath the veil is something more real

Yet one is without the other

flip flopped in feelings

Which one is fulfilling my basic needs

Or my royal status

Place me as you see fit creator

I prefer both

As I am an infinite broadband kinda

vibe,

that vibrates in 547 hz where the octaves

providing my balance

Where’s the balance in one is not the others

May I ask why do I have to choose?

Is there an infinite amount of souls out here to touch me just where my funny bone needs entertaining?

Or is the safety net much more securing in securing the the applications I have for myself?

We got off………

Finally the day has come…

They wanted some time…

Time we thought was on our side

The side that’s sunny side up

20,000 Beautiful mornings

And gorgeous leafy filled Tapestries hanging on our memories.


He clearly wanted some more time.

At least a few more years

A few more soulful gazes in our passionate eyes,

A time where we will feel recognized.


To receive the most deep-felt touches that weren’t physical,

this ultimate feeling.

Deep down in your intensities….

Where your souls protector presides,

keeping your life force alive.


We want it So desperately.

But damn it means putting down how I lived my entire life…

a life that never felt quite like this.


What is behind these masked intentions full of bliss?

Or why question something so damn real?


and we see it but we didn’t believe in it….


So time caught the remnants of mistakes mistaken in our ego.

The ride has stop.


We got off.

Time begets time

And now the reality hits us with full of mediocrity.


Scared of the oceanic tidal coming to whisk you

away into a beautiful unknown. Why don’t you

dare take this ride?


Oh dear. Fear.


Fear skips the part of your life that has fast

heartbeats when you hear footsteps of a

familiar stranger or….


diving into all our nodal moods that are

ultimately our Purpose in living…


Yet we choose fear. A fear of feeling like an

eagle soaring from the hanging arctic oak trees

feeling the heat of the sun on its wings that

surmises a beautiful soul like yourself.


Yet and still….


It’s a connection that is an universe in its illusory time spheres

Where no one comes dare near

When the energy of your souls meet

That’s when you just knew.

What more proof do u need?

Sometimes we caught up in karmic

residues,


So time wasn’t on our side.

And the struggle on whats apparently deepening deep within my seed of life

Is a great place to just reside there

Or perhaps

even die there.

this beautiful song

we have our faults, we have our frowns

we have our woes yet we have our smiles.

love is for the courageous and baby I’ve been quite the strong.
I see you seeing me
I see your beautiful song.
You encourage me u love me u feel me u touch me…
I see you i love you I want to see your best from the rest.
Yes we have our faults, we have our frowns
we have our woes yet we have our smiles.
Yes love is endless yes love is a lesson…
 love drives us crazy
yet love carries a beautiful message.
And the notice is nothing in life matters more than love.
 Like the wild fires in the forest catching flames burning down the lifeless forms and giving it passion for life,
 Like the endless heavens with sea winds gently caressing your skin that is submerged in beautiful white doves,
 like the endless oceans that is not discovered so who knows what beautiful possibilities that runs deep,
 like the oak tress who roots are perhaps are the earths center and rises to the atmospheres….
love is is that passionate, that gorgeous, that flowing, that secured.
Yes we have our faults, we have our frowns
we have our woes yet we have our smiles.
Love is not weak its strong. Endurance is at high levels, compassion is always a beautiful option…..because compassion IS always a beautiful option……
love needs love today and this beautiful song of yours I want to sing
fill up my soul with your lyrics, im wrapped around the snake that gave me the
knowledge,
your beautiful song I will always sing out loud….
Yes we have our faults and yes we have our frowns
we have our woes yet we have our smiles.

When sisterhood are homes…

Dreaming of a home that was through a true friendship

A sisterhood

A safe place

Where you can be real with yourself,

To each other.

Judging each other character flaws

The ugly truths expose.

It’s cool because no one is perfect

And you know this friend wouldn’t dare use you in vain.

Their words are important to you

So you gently listen to them

Correcting them for the intent for them to grow

Never diminishing.

A true home where you know they are there walking beside you through it all.

A forgiving home.

A place where apologies is like the ocean.

Full of fluidity and energy behind our sorry’s,

Because we genuinely mean it and recognize when we have hurt each other.

A home where you are supported.

You are watered here like a flower because true love would never dare hurt you.

A friendship that’ll last not because you have common interest, but your soul recognize theirs.

Then I woke up.

I look around and I see selfish self intended love…

Friends who only hit you up when they need something,

Friends who can’t keep their word,

Friends who don’t support you when you need it the most,

Sisters who only care about their self.

I walk around and see friends that don’t talk for years and a honest conversation could mend their brokenness.

I saw greed that broke friendships apart realizing how money is truly the root that was dug up and a sisterhood bond turning brown ready to die.

I saw through space and time a beautiful home being broken apart because they have changed in a way where they don’t recognize each other any more…

I feel the loneliness and sorrow of friends being tore apart,

The ones you need you don’t have anymore.

They say it gets better with time, they say just forget about them,

But when you lose a friend that feels like home,

Nothing is a win.

Living on and trusting the universe it happened for a reason,

Hoping your days will get better.

For now the homelessness feels bitterness towards them,

How dare them you say.

The betrayal feels so real.

But the part we all forget is…

Did you see why they feel the way they do?

Did you receive a different perspective?

Did you let the water run dry when you could have led them to a river?

Was sorry too hard for you to say because you don’t like to realize your own wrongdoing?

Whether I was dreaming or whether I am awake nothing feels more painful than losing a home you thought was build on solid ground.

To just let go.

My emotional wreckage is set up like shiny new born babies coming down the birth canal squirming to get out yet the doctor states that the baby is breached.

My emotions are set up as if the ocean tides that are pulled by the sun gave way for the most rebellious surfer to try his hand at the great lengths this wave may take him only to find out he has to wait for the next one.

These tears keep falling down my face as if the past keeps repeating itself in vain and none of the hard work I put in to unlearn the pain and isolation of being seen and not heard was brought to life and as a result I feel like I can’t breathe. Suffocating into a revolting question mark.

And these words… These mere words I carry like a homeless person on 52nd and woodland holding on to their possessions; protecting it with their life knowing that this is all that they have and the memory of knowing that they had more channels an inner desire to make sure they’ll never let this bag go.

My heart. My heart succumbs to the devastation of men, men who I briefly see as an outlet yet to only later find out I just pick the ones who are designed and specializes in breaking the one organ I find life in.

So I hold my tongue. Afraid to be down to earth because my head is a space shuttle full of ambiguity that I’m sure no one could relate to because the jibbish dialect that tells my space cadet stories derives from being an offspring of a mother who rather smoke crack than take care of her 5 kids that all have different daddies. So I put myself in a state of reclusiveness knowing for sure no one will ever want to be be my friend yet alone wife up.

I’m currently alone in a bathroom, ass on the toilet hearing only the sound of me typing this and the air conditioner in the bedroom. And for the first time I can say I’m utterly sad.

Sad I never spoke up for myself. Sad I never had the courage to be the unique woman God has made me to be. Sad I was these different images that people wanted me to portray. Sad I never had the chance to properly tell the one person who truly love me goodbye. Sad I rely on the fictitious men to figure out my worth for me. Sad I can’t still come out of this shell I never knew even existed.

I just want to let go. Not die but fall off a bridge and fear nothing. Close my eyes and let everything just go.

The walking dead

Walking dead among this earth because this heart of mine is pumping emotions I can’t disguise…

Having to see you every day knowing what we could have been, I slowly feel my lungs pumping past its size.

The love we make is on constant repeat in my soul as I try to suppress your majestic being that came as a surprise.

How can I ever walk again?

The only road I can walk on is the same path that welcomes zombies.

The only release I can ever have recruits these tears and it initiates my sobbing.

I want to throw a boycott on this flag on the play, in which my heart needs intense lobbying…

I now walk with my head held low.

There’s no point to my life at this current moment.
I’m in your presence but you see me much as a torrent.
You look at me as if we can’t ever make our once was fairy tale current.

You made me like this.

You didn’t come for me, didn’t grab my hand as I walked out…
You don’t care no more, and I’m left to deal with these internal bouts.
Why couldn’t we just change the pace?
I thought of u more than empty metaphoric parking lots…
Because spaces between our sentences we shared didn’t need a ticket slot.

We shared the same similes.
Yet I believed that I was sold on a dream.
Now I walk among the dead.
Aimlessly walking as if im searching for someone to see if my soul is alive

Someone please come revive me…