#writing

One is not the other…

One is not the other

Flip flopped in feelings

Overwhelm at the dichotomies

….these endings and beginnings

Alphas and omegas,

These alpha males and empaths

These narratives you adhere to keep ur image.

Underneath the veil is something more real

Yet one is without the other

flip flopped in feelings

Which one is fulfilling my basic needs

Or my royal status

Place me as you see fit creator

I prefer both

As I am an infinite broadband kinda

vibe,

that vibrates in 547 hz where the octaves

providing my balance

Where’s the balance in one is not the others

May I ask why do I have to choose?

Is there an infinite amount of souls out here to touch me just where my funny bone needs entertaining?

Or is the safety net much more securing in securing the the applications I have for myself?

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We got off………

Finally the day has come…

They wanted some time…

Time we thought was on our side

The side that’s sunny side up

20,000 Beautiful mornings

And gorgeous leafy filled Tapestries hanging on our memories.


He clearly wanted some more time.

At least a few more years

A few more soulful gazes in our passionate eyes,

A time where we will feel recognized.


To receive the most deep-felt touches that weren’t physical,

this ultimate feeling.

Deep down in your intensities….

Where your souls protector presides,

keeping your life force alive.


We want it So desperately.

But damn it means putting down how I lived my entire life…

a life that never felt quite like this.


What is behind these masked intentions full of bliss?

Or why question something so damn real?


and we see it but we didn’t believe in it….


So time caught the remnants of mistakes mistaken in our ego.

The ride has stop.


We got off.

Time begets time

And now the reality hits us with full of mediocrity.


Scared of the oceanic tidal coming to whisk you

away into a beautiful unknown. Why don’t you

dare take this ride?


Oh dear. Fear.


Fear skips the part of your life that has fast

heartbeats when you hear footsteps of a

familiar stranger or….


diving into all our nodal moods that are

ultimately our Purpose in living…


Yet we choose fear. A fear of feeling like an

eagle soaring from the hanging arctic oak trees

feeling the heat of the sun on its wings that

surmises a beautiful soul like yourself.


Yet and still….


It’s a connection that is an universe in its illusory time spheres

Where no one comes dare near

When the energy of your souls meet

That’s when you just knew.

What more proof do u need?

Sometimes we caught up in karmic

residues,


So time wasn’t on our side.

And the struggle on whats apparently deepening deep within my seed of life

Is a great place to just reside there

Or perhaps

even die there.

this beautiful song

we have our faults, we have our frowns

we have our woes yet we have our smiles.

love is for the courageous and baby I’ve been quite the strong.
I see you seeing me
I see your beautiful song.
You encourage me u love me u feel me u touch me…
I see you i love you I want to see your best from the rest.
Yes we have our faults, we have our frowns
we have our woes yet we have our smiles.
Yes love is endless yes love is a lesson…
 love drives us crazy
yet love carries a beautiful message.
And the notice is nothing in life matters more than love.
 Like the wild fires in the forest catching flames burning down the lifeless forms and giving it passion for life,
 Like the endless heavens with sea winds gently caressing your skin that is submerged in beautiful white doves,
 like the endless oceans that is not discovered so who knows what beautiful possibilities that runs deep,
 like the oak tress who roots are perhaps are the earths center and rises to the atmospheres….
love is is that passionate, that gorgeous, that flowing, that secured.
Yes we have our faults, we have our frowns
we have our woes yet we have our smiles.
Love is not weak its strong. Endurance is at high levels, compassion is always a beautiful option…..because compassion IS always a beautiful option……
love needs love today and this beautiful song of yours I want to sing
fill up my soul with your lyrics, im wrapped around the snake that gave me the
knowledge,
your beautiful song I will always sing out loud….
Yes we have our faults and yes we have our frowns
we have our woes yet we have our smiles.

When sisterhood are homes…

Dreaming of a home that was through a true friendship

A sisterhood

A safe place

Where you can be real with yourself,

To each other.

Judging each other character flaws

The ugly truths expose.

It’s cool because no one is perfect

And you know this friend wouldn’t dare use you in vain.

Their words are important to you

So you gently listen to them

Correcting them for the intent for them to grow

Never diminishing.

A true home where you know they are there walking beside you through it all.

A forgiving home.

A place where apologies is like the ocean.

Full of fluidity and energy behind our sorry’s,

Because we genuinely mean it and recognize when we have hurt each other.

A home where you are supported.

You are watered here like a flower because true love would never dare hurt you.

A friendship that’ll last not because you have common interest, but your soul recognize theirs.

Then I woke up.

I look around and I see selfish self intended love…

Friends who only hit you up when they need something,

Friends who can’t keep their word,

Friends who don’t support you when you need it the most,

Sisters who only care about their self.

I walk around and see friends that don’t talk for years and a honest conversation could mend their brokenness.

I saw greed that broke friendships apart realizing how money is truly the root that was dug up and a sisterhood bond turning brown ready to die.

I saw through space and time a beautiful home being broken apart because they have changed in a way where they don’t recognize each other any more…

I feel the loneliness and sorrow of friends being tore apart,

The ones you need you don’t have anymore.

They say it gets better with time, they say just forget about them,

But when you lose a friend that feels like home,

Nothing is a win.

Living on and trusting the universe it happened for a reason,

Hoping your days will get better.

For now the homelessness feels bitterness towards them,

How dare them you say.

The betrayal feels so real.

But the part we all forget is…

Did you see why they feel the way they do?

Did you receive a different perspective?

Did you let the water run dry when you could have led them to a river?

Was sorry too hard for you to say because you don’t like to realize your own wrongdoing?

Whether I was dreaming or whether I am awake nothing feels more painful than losing a home you thought was build on solid ground.

The cause and effect.

Oh how did I forget to put the honey on the womb that was the atonement to your aliveness? Your spliced solace 

Combined like terms

And you get I.

With you it was a mistake gone right.

A cold case found 

A rebound

Rebooting the hard drive we thought it was the sound.

It was.

Our truths not told so it was heard in third parties,

Lowly is the man who has nobody.

Friends forever broken down,

passion ignited was the beginning of the end to a union that was suppose to last forever.

Our forever was momentarily infinite.

Parasites to the mental capacity to see beyond our way of thinking left us like this.

 Creative mind ceased,

Yet the memory keeps the juices flowing.

Finding love in a hopeless place put me in a position to be truly loved.

To know what it felt like.

Life ain’t so easy as they say 

And situations ain’t so stationary as envoys 

I was employed

To invite you to a branch of lighthearted comfort and familiarity.

You served as an editor of what Self worth meant to me,

I see the God in me,

All thanks to you.

Appreciation is an understatement 

I appreciate this current present.

To love and be loved so perfectly aligned 

I never could of dream of such sweetness.

The cause and effect. 

Going through the dark to see the light.

You made it all possible.

I thank you for your wisdom.

The mastermind behind her lost eyes.

The pain is palpable Her solar plexus tied in knots,every time she eats, she rots.

Waiting for the moment you call her again, and want to start where they had stop.

The anxiety of losing you causes friction to her feet, not able to move forward because it feels as if you took her ability to seek.

You didn’t come with a disclaimer,

She assumes she ignored the signs, 

she rationalized your emotional abuse as mishaps in your life and she still gave you her light to shine.

Seven months celibate until she gave you her center.She thought someone like you was worthy so she happily followed your obsequious mind. 

she also gave you her precious time.

She lost a lot of it waiting to hear from you so she can be commenced in hearing your sweet lullabies.

She always believed him. He was who he said he was. You made her feel like this was a forever type thing.

Why doubt it when you felt it too? 

She can’t force you to see it but let’s get to the clues.

She ride for hers and it’s perceived as crazy.You went missing every now and then on her as if she never existed.

Two different ways for preservation but here’s the catch:you ran from love and she dived in it.

While intently listening to your dream on January 31st,  words told to her that said she wasn’t never going to be ‘real’ enough,  
You knew something realer that watched over you, Your first. 

Words that shattered her back bone. Words that made her hide from her ghosts. Realizing she could never make him into a home. Because he longed for it in other ways.

He killed her vibe.

And from that day on, little did he know she internally felt like she died. The mastermind behind her lost eyes.
The man of her dreams,

Her knight and shining armor sliced her in half.  

Nothing right or wrong could be good enough or wrong enough. 

straws that broke the camels back,right in the middle of them building. 

But she swallowed your sword because she knew idioms were fixed expressions. 

She looked into a magnifying glass to see if she did in fact hurt the one who administered the flu shot of misery that killed her slowly.
You found peace in forgetting about her as she found peace in faith.

Two different people but they are both broken.Why you put her through this?Why did she put herself through this? 

She wonders if this was love for him or an escape route. 

When you first saw her what did you think? Lets give her all of my burdens so she can be responsible in sorting them out. 

And even through such an impossible task, 

She tried to be Superman for him and do as such but she really was just a Jane Gray. 

Not knowing her own mutant power was activated in telekinesis. Or rather psychokinesis…

Mind over matter, as she knew you were damaged, she takes blame in dying twice while under your condolences. 

Or rather your control. 

She felt a competition going on she didn’t realize she even entered.
It broke her knowing she was never gonna be what you wanted her to be. 

You didn’t accept her. This is how you made her feel.

She settled in being a consolation prize.
Knowing she’ll be 2nd place at all times.

Why couldn’t this stay platonic…where friendships can never be broken.

She remembers countless nights of not sleeping at all because she didn’t want to miss your call,

She filled your life up with sending her love through poetry, gifts, thoughtful gestures to show you how much she cared.

You made her evolve and transcended her into womanhood.

What gift more beautiful to be exalted for? Through it all, she was blessed to have such an experience.

You didn’t feel the same with her so you left her to dry out in the sun.
And she becomes undone.

She then became a Lucy that burns in the hearts of man. She started to hate the evilness of liars. Transparent enough?

Well lets get descriptive.

Through those advantageous attempts in wanting you to see her, the real her that was exclusively for you,

she lost an ear.

So she couldn’t hear.

She couldn’t hear what you were saying and it simply said: you’ll never be what my wife is to me. You’ll never be what I already had.

She lies in the corner crying at night seeing visuals of your words hanging on her heart.

She thought less of herself.

Even when you called her a queen.

Actions speaking louder than words.

But God made her no quitter so she scattered your words and tried to make a puzzle.

While doing this she lost her sebaceous gland.

Her shine went missing.

Losing herself in you.

She didn’t know what she could do.

She kept giving you more of what she knew was true: me.

Then what she thought was her new found holy trinity came before me and said upon to me set yourself free because you are not what I need.

A womb that was stabbed. 

The black woman disrespected again. 

Words that she knew were coming because you once showed your conditionality when you once told her to rest in peace to the day you cared. 

 She had faith and it failed her. 

Now as a losing battle she tried many attempts at reaching out only to have made her lose all sense of self in the process.

Tuned into this thing called insanity or maybe a plea agreement. Whichever you can believe, it left her feeling utterly embarrassed,

and confused,

and disgusting,

and completely lost.

A beautiful Love story gone bad because they didn’t sustain to be friends first. Rushing into something that desperately needed time to go through Photosynthesis to have it flourish.
Why must we want what we want now and right away? 
Why couldn’t they see this kind of thing is not for everybody? 

Didn’t they see how rare their bond was ?

Why didn’t you see the free spirited beauty in her that you’ve now finally found and flew away with?

Why couldn’t she see you as a blueprint?Something to navigate and get accustomed to. 

Be still saith the lord and great things will prosper from this.Why were they so anxious? 

Restart buttons are for the shrewd and beloved. The ones we think aren’t tainted with but they must of knew that the truth never sets no one free.

Why can’t ppl say sorry for their mistakes instead of throwing their cards in? 
Why leave when it was so great within.

Reaching out as if she is saying to you “et tu brute?” while you’ve thrown a dagger into her back you’ve already damaged each time she reached out and was given a non response.

Friends. How many of us have them? 
All of life’s opportunities and she is given these monochromic items. Nothing excites her no more.
You were her cirque du soleil. 

Just like how you cut her in half, why can’t you use that energy and put her back together again?

Only you can do this. 

The billy jeans you said that were not your lover became 5am booty calls you thought she wasn’t aware of.

As she used her higher self to pull herself through the betrayal of unconditional love,
She bathed in a thousand words over the androgynous voice she carries in her spirit that were painted white to purify her again. 

Attempting to find a balance again. 

She meditated so heavily, she saw the hues of the universe intermixing with the sound of light on her balcony at the crack of dawn.

She prayed so furiously, she saw God bypass her as if the wind spoke to her and whispered ‘i am also real’

She thought so hard of you every morning, she rearranged the reality so her ideals were still in tact.

But through all of this, She wakes up empty.Just like you perhaps feel.You gave her your hole in your heart. 

While she was getting use to her soul dancing that was in perfect alignment with yours that others found rather esoteric, little did they know we had found love in a hopeless place. 
Now she just want to shine again. You took a piece of her and that’s fine. Have that piece teach you about reconciliation and hope.About how the most beautiful heart found yours. 

Hopefully that piece you stole from her morphed into a liaise so they then can have the greatest understanding for one another. 

Until then. Resentment fills the airways. She wants to hate you so bad so she use euphemisms to disguise how much she regret meeting you. 

Then she laugh at yourself fully aware you were the best tragedy that could of ever happen to her. She wouldn’t take back a thing but the pieces you both were missing: patience.

Time could of move them forward but everything was considered abuse to him. 

What bad luck huh. 

On the flip side

On the flipside,Like the side of the spatula that’s clean. On the side of what we call deduction reasoning,how could you quantity what you believe? 

Mutually exclusivity, Singularity. 

I’m tired of these 20 minute love affairs, I make love continuously . Preserving, protecting, smiling at the thought of you.

Thoughtful touches, Kind affections, Lovely gestures.My weakness is being played against me in his circle of trust.On the flip side, there’s no rush.It’s about looking in the mirror to look into yourself.

This love transformed me, my realized self,I’m now exposed.No cover can hide this kind of vulnerability.

I’m lost in the woods looking at the trail to find my way back home.But I find myself following the moon,and I ended up here. So either side is one of the same.

Love endures. 

But on the flip side, the shit just dont make sense.